Wow this board is busy

by onthefence 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • onthefence

    I guess that might say something in and of itself.

    Thanks to everybody who replied to my last post I just got through reading the responses. I have to say I didn't clarify my last post very well as I was pretty emotional at the time. I would definately fade out of the congo slowly if I could but the thing is I'm still living at home so it would be very hard to do. I'm 21 and I lived on my own for awhile with a so-called jw friend of mine. We got drunk and stoned every weekend, but when I would talk to him about any of this it was like he would get offended! I thought that was so crazy. Anyway, I moved back in with my parents to go to college (I never bought into that whole anti-education argument) and I am now a senior and have about a year and a half left.

    About the girl (isnt it always hehe), she isnt actually my gf, we have only been writing and calling each other the last 3 months or so. After I had that discussion with her the other night she said "Well I cant be mad at you over something you dont believe in". I couldnt believe she said that! She seems to be very open minded but its like someone said (cant remember who) she has a family and getting involved with her now would mean fighting at least 2 battles with mine and her family. I dont know man, I guess I'm going to try to move out and support myself through my last year of school and it will be easier that way to kindof slack off on meeting attendance. Well I'll figure out something I might be awhile before I make it back here, but again thanks for understanding.

  • Yerusalyim

    FenceSitter type person,

    WELCOME to the Board,

    The struggle is your own, I recommend prayer. My advice is just like everyone elses, so take it with a grain of salt. First, drop the roles they have you playing at the meetings, then, let a few meetings slip, pick em up again, slip, a slow downward spiral. Also, begin looking for a job that will allow you to live on your own. Never publically question or challenge the BORG until your break is complete.
    We'll pray for you,,Good Luck and God Bless.



    There is more of heaven and earth than is dreamt of in your philosphy, Horatio.

    Dickens: A Tale of Two Cities

  • mustang


    Like someone said, careful about disclosing your true feelings to others 'still in'; they will 'narc' on you.

    School is the greatest opportunity to slip away. Get real busy in studies. Looking back, school was the ONLY thing I ever spoke up about. So, technically, I never stepped on an Elder's toe that hard.

    Figure some way of expanding your school and you can really stretch this one out. It will easily stretch long enough to get you out of you parents house. And then, the 'cares of life' will take your time and attention. Getting settled in the new apartment, the job is tough, gotta take a night class... Life is easier than keeping up w/ the WTS curriculum. Even a tough life is a good bit easier.

    Best wishes,

  • Flip

    Middle of the road Dude,

    Well I'll figure out something I suppose........

    Here's a thought;

    Always have a couple of cashiers checks handy and made out to the Watchtower Bile and Tract Society in denominations of 25, 50 or 100 dollars, depending on your financial wherewithal or the gravity of your situation.

    When you suspect you’ll be confronted for lack of “correct” spirituality by persons in authority such as your parents or elders and before any dialog, you might say,

    “Oh, by the way, now that I’m going to college and expect to making a substantial wage, I need to begin donating more of my potential earnings to the WTBTS for "obvious" reasons.

    “Could you please deposit this in the KH contribution box for me? I sure would appreciate it if you did…Thank you soooo much.”

    “Now…what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”


  • rileygurl

    Onthefence -

    I wanted to wish you good luck in working through this. Its not easy, breaking it to your family is one of the hardest things to do. My mother didn't take it well at all when we sat down w/her last month(not that I could blame her) but the sad thing is she's in complete denial and in a way blames my husband. I don't have a whole lot of wisdom to impart but just know we are here for you any time you want to talk or just need to vent. This board is great for that.

    cheers -

  • jimmyjames


    my situation is about the reverse of yours. my parent was against jwism from the start and my sis and i were the only ones in our family to be jdubs.

    once found out what happened to me i wanted to leave but it was kind of hard to just "fade away" since i was involved in a lot of cong. activites like the mics, sound system and the literature counter and was expected to be at the meetings all the time. i was 19 then (i'm 22 now) people expected me to go to bethel or become an m.s. soon.

    i was pretty good at hiding what i really knew and felt for a while but i eventually decided to just stop going altogether, all at once. i was just a no-show for all my mic and lit. assignments. my sis had moved to florida so she didn't know what was going on. i got a few phone calls, and i believe just 2 visits (1 from an elder who just came because the c.o. was there and another from a j.w. couple looking for their daughter (why at my house i have no idea)).

    i'm in college now too and i'm glad i left and just sorry i didn't do it sooner. my advice is to get out if you don't believe in it and don't want your future in it. i know it's hard to do still living at home. as far as your family goes, i guess you're the only one who knows best how they'd react. my sister knows all about it now and we're pretty much the same as we always were, we just don't talk as often.

    good luck feel free to email ( [email protected])

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