1. A link to jw.com
2. An apology of any kind
Things We Are Unlikely To See On watchtower.org
by Stephanus 12 Replies latest jw friends
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sleepy
May I add,
Intelligence.
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Stephanus
4. Testimonials by the trolls who come here to support them
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StinkyPantz
5. The truth
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JH
Edited by - jh on 28 January 2003 1:48:5
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SYN
Rehashed New Light (TM) January 27, 2003 How To Stuff Your Face
We've told you how to wipe your ass in the past, and now we seek to increase our fine-grained hold on your life even more with our new series of informative articles.Apostacy - Alive And Well In The North!
We investigate a group of Detroit Apostates, and find out what they're doing with their lives now that they're free from the BORG."Are Jehovah's Witnesses Allowed To Toke Up?"
And here you were thinking Witnesses weren't allowed to partake of God's Own Hallucinogen! New research has shown that the natural herbs Marijuana and Shrooms are perfectly acceptable for True Christians.Please Whack Your Children! It's Christian!
Kids can't expect much these days, what with large numbers of parents working twelve-hour shifts and the like. Now you can improve their lives by beating the living daylight out of them! And, as an added bonus, it's Christian!Jogging - Is It For True Christians(TM)?
Brother Flippy helps us to understand how jogging can save lives. Now it's not just the Ministry that is life-saving, but also dashing about in tight spandex! Excellent!Where Do You Think You're Going?
Thought you could escape Brooklyn Bethel in the dead of the night? WRONG! Get your ass back into the cistern, young Brother. Greenlees is waiting!A Christian Guide To Defeating Constipation
Many of our Brothers are afflicted with this terrible ailment, one which has caused so many explosive events in Kingdom Halls of late. Find out how they're coping with it, and what products are recommended to help you flush out the ole tooter.Above is a selection of articles that have appeared in the Watchtower and Awake! magazines. The Watchtower is published in over 130 languages and Awake! in over 80 languages. These can be obtained from Jehovah's Witnesses locally or by contacting one of our branch offices. Please note that our magazines have a shelf life of approximately 7 years, and reading magazines older than that can get you disfellowshipped. That's when your entire family ceases to recognize you exist, especially at weddings and funerals. It's all so CHRISTIAN!
Animals/Plants/Psuedo-Science Bird Shooting - An Illustrated Guide Jaracz, The Misjudged GB Member The Horrid Fate Of The Children The Big Bang - CBC's Fifth Estate! Edited by - SYN on 27 January 2003 11:31:21
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SYN
Oh dear. The tables are all screwed up.
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JH
SYN
I just read the small print on the bottom of your page.
Very true....
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Reborn2002
ROFLMAO
The sad thing is, those topics listed in the parodies above would hold more educational value than the nonsense that is regurgitated over and over again by the Watchtower Writing Department.
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