Newbee...having problems

rebuilding94

hi all

I guess I am still a newbee here. I havent posted for a while. I am having some problems yet agian in my life. I really feel like my life has been on a "re-build" since `94...my disfellowshipping.

My husband left me and the kids a year after I left the Borg, ever since then my children have been going through such big issues in life ,..........Is this due to there dad leaving, and still not being a big part of there lives .or because we are shunned by most of our family and all old friends???

I have 3 teen all whom have there share of problems, I too have much hurt and anger because of my ex and the JW's, but its my youngest who Iam very worried about. My youngest (14) has been in and out of cousler's offices, therapy and a couple of "shrinks". Now she cuts, ( this is self inflicted skin cutting) she says she doesnt want to die,she says, it helps with the pain in her heart. I dont know how to help her?

I have no family that stands by me, mom is just waiting for me to fall so I go back to the borg begging for forgivness, NEVER. I wont go back, because I know the lies the JW leader's teach. I have found a new faith, at times like this I question, is God really there?

It has been a constant struggle ever since 1994.

advice, please

Buster

I can't give you any advice. But welcome back! I hope it works out - and damn thier eyes for making you go through this when your family could help.

nightwarrior

Hi there

firstly find out from your daughter what does she think is causing the pain in her heart ,is it lack of love from the farther,do you spend enough time with her why send your kid to a shrink as tell her this will only lead to further problems when she gets older ,covering boyfriends marriage etc,

i guess you must be working all the hours under the sun ,meaning not spending enough time with the kids,leaves them open to wonder the streets and get into all sorts of trouble with older people, the strain of life must be heavy upon you all ,why not reconcile with your husband,or have him play a greatwer role in there lifes,if money is the problem sting him for maintenance, maybee giving up one of your jobs, unless your retraining at colleague or something along those lines

sit own and analize your problems,put them into a column starting with the largest then work on that problem first allso slowly analizing where to give the most time,

allso your kids are young enough to make new friends,have you thought of moving ,new town new friends new environment,seems like you have nothing to stay around for ,meaning your old area

.good luck NEWBIE.

Witch Child

Hi there,

sounds like there are a number of things going wrong for you at the moment. Your daughter cutting herself is scaring you pretty bad, huh? Well, from what you said about why she does it she is doing what I used to do. I was a self-cutter back when I was a teen. There was so much pain and stress in my life, I felt like I had no control over what happened to me. Everyone else had power to change things or to do what they wanted but I had none. I used to just cry and cry at night, fall asleep crying. My tears stopped eventually. I was all cried out. I couldn't cry... at all... for any reason. Shortly after that I started cutting myself. I would make relatively shallow slashes in my forearms and lower legs, sometimes many all at once. I used broken glass, razors whatever. Partly i was trying to let the pain out... no tears, so the next best must be blood... right? Partly I was taking control of something, my body. I could make it bleed and I could make it sting and hurt. I could starve it too. Often times cutters have eating disorders too, but not always. Your daughter needs help, she needs help from someone who knows how to treat cutters, self-mutilators. Failing that, someone familliar with or focused on eating disorders would be a heck of a lot better than nothing. I will try to find some websites or something on this for you.

Feel free to email me at; [email protected]

I would be happy to offer you any help I can on this. It was scary for me, I just shudder thinking about my kids doing it... must be awful.

Blessings,

~Witch

Witch Child

Here, I just did a quick search. I found a few that might be helpful...

http://www.geocities.com/bni_jgk/mainpage.html

http://www.angelfire.com/ri/edsm/index.html

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

http://www.selfharm.com/

Let me know if you need any more assistance.

Peace,
Witch

outnfree

((((((rebuilding)))))))

I would think that your family is having all kinds of problems because of ALL of it. DIVORCE is one of life's major stressors. DEATH is, too, and you and your family have lived through the DEATH of your PARADISE DREAMS -- with all the attendant feelings of guilt, betrayal, anger, hurt, etc., that are the process of mourning itself. And, if there is FINANCIAL distress as well, as there usually is post-divorce, then you'll all had an enormous amout of strain -- PLUS you still have to deprogram yourselfs from WT-think! What an incredible burden!!!!

Professional counseling will be very valuable for all of you, and your cutter definitely needs appropriate treatment. Witchy is so good to offer help. I think Mimilly was a cutter, too, who might also be able to give you some insight into your daughter's self-mutilation.

Meanwhile, we'll try to be here for you when your worries get too big to hold inside.

More hugs,

out

ugg

(((((((((((((((((((((( rebuilding )))))))))))))))))))))

rebuilding94

Thanx for the advice all, Witch Child, I have gone to a few of the site you sent me,they are very informative, I will e mail you soon.Thanks for your kindness understanding in this very scary matter.Thanx too outandfree for your support

nightwarrior...Ill take some of the advice, thanx....by the way, have you ever sat on any judical commities?Just a little sharp..a kind word goes a long way

Edited by - rebuilding94 on 20 January 2003 12:20:54

Newbee...having problems

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