by onacruse 15 Replies latest jw friends
Even though I'd accumulated 20 years of doubts and disappointments, I fought my last DFing tooth-and-nail. If they hadn't DFd me, I'd still be "in" mentally and psychologically. Heck, I was still "in" for another year and a half after, even though I thought I was out. Didn't break loose and begin getting free until last July. And when it finally did come down, it came down like the walls of Jericho.
Maybe I should give them all a big hug, eh? LOL
Craig
When I was going to be disfellowshipped, I was convinced to fight it by someone else. A total of 6 elders sat in judgment of me. The result was that the decision was overturned, and I am still not disfellowshipped. That was 10 years ago. I think you are right about the feeling "in" partially, because thats the way I feel. I think its not so bad though.
It would be interesting for you to tell exactly what brought down the walls last July.
AlanF
onacruse, consider it a blessing in disguise because that's how I considered mine, THEY made things easier for me.
Guest 77
LOL @ AlanF !! Did you ever see "It Happened one Night", a comic movie (from 1932) with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert! When the "Walls of Jericho" came tumbling down, her divorce was final and they could, well, you know.....
ANYHOW -- yes the elders with their harsh and prejudicial judgment in my case helped me very much, I can't even begin to thank them really! It finally got through my thick skull that "Jehovah" and "righteousness" has nothing to do with the way the organization treats people and kicks them to the curb. Even though being DF'd (and feeling cornered in a committee meeting) was a hard way to learn the reality of the situation, I'm so glad I learned!
I agree onacruse, and, gopher too. The elders did a lot of wrong to me and my family, but I thank them now for helping me "out."
Borgfree
Alan: The straight and simple answer is--I JOINED THIS FORUM.
When you and I were talking in the early 90s, and I read the volumes of stuff you gave me (), well, I listened without hearing, and read without comprehending. Then, a couple years later, I read COC. I knew what Ray said was true, but it made me physically ill, and I threw the book away. However, most of the mortar in my brick wall was removed. So I cruised along in anger and disappointment until 2000, got DFd. Then, my JW wife divorced me. So there I was, alone and miserable, and feeling awfully damn sorry for myself.
At your advice, I joined this forum on July 3. And for the next 3 weeks, I laughed and cried and purged, and laughed and cried and purged. I was in chat constantly...even more than joy2bfree! And it was caring and empathetic people like her, and so many many others, that helped me get through it and past it. It finally dawned on me: the reason I'd been stuck for so long was that I DIDN'T THINK I HAD ANYBODY TO TALK TO!
Well, I sure do have a community now, like I never imagined.
Craig
Edited by - onacruse on 15 January 2003 18:52:15
Yep, I look back and think of the injustice done to me, but as you say Craig, the reality is they did us a big favor.
As a result of my being shafted I felt alone, with no JW family for support, just my worldly loser father in their eyes. That was almost 8 years ago. My siblings have now jumped ship and are enoying a real life.
Thank you Jehooover and your wonderful loving spirit directed elders.
Kep
Thank you Jehooover and your wonderful loving spirit directed elders.
I second that!!
I have to agree Craig, it was this forum that taught me the truth about the truth...as well as reading the COC book. But overall...knowing that you're not the only one out there helped me get over a lot of my personal issues.
~Beck~
Craig
It is nice to find people who aren't so judgmental and can express simple human empathy. Witnesses can't seem to do that anymore. I just wish there was something like this forum in 1989 when I was leaving. It would have made things so much easier.
So are you going to go to your KH and give those elders a big hug? Maybe you could just put a paperbag full of dog poop on their front door, light it and then hide. When they see it, and stomp on the fire to put it out, well that's thanks enough. Nothing says thank you like dog poop.
