I have a sister that shunned me for 17 years, we were the only 2 witnesses in the family, she woke up and got disfellowshipped last year and she wanted to come and see me. After 17 years I welcomed her back as my sister because I realized it was not her fault that she was brainwashed. Your mother may think that she is right, but she needs a shock to wake up. My advice is to get it a chance atleast for a little while and see what happens. But remember the time that you loose with your mother will be lost forever.
questions for those shunned
by unbeliever 11 Replies latest jw friends
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Granny Linda
I really do hate reading stories of shunning....it's such a cruel, cruel thing.
Some good input here. It's always interesting how different people approach this issue with their families. Unlike JWs who seem to suffer not from such behavior because they are soooo special (gag/puke), they really do think they have a right to impose their mental illness upon other family members.
I say be done with them! Why should our loved one's be subjected to "grandma" our "uncle", or whomever, just because they think they have a right???? I've no patience for "family" like that. Too many years in overcoming my own shit to allow such vileness close to my loved ones. You wanna see your grandchilren????? Then by golly you will respect OUR guidlines...or be gone.
Let me tell you something since it seems I'm in a talkative mood: These self-righteous, distorter's of truth, those family members in particular, can kiss my arse! Do you really see any thing postive coming out of allowing such influence upon young minds? I don't.
Normally I'm not so, let's say hostile about this in my life because I've dealt with being df for over 30 years. But I certainly do care about what we allow our children to be around. And that above all else means JW family members.
I wish you well on this journey. Learning healthy detachment versus shunning, is a reward of introspection. No one should ever tell you it's easy, but the end result is one of inner peace and self acceptance. These are fine qualities to take with one throughout life.
If you are not familiar with John Bradshaw, I do recommend his lectures/books. He explains in terms I could identify with, this thing called religious abuse. He deals with a variety of family dysfunctions, and I'd say right off one big message is that of SHAME. The individual must come to reconize what that is, how and why it's used. Humans are not really obligated to family; despite what some might want us to believe. Or so is my opinion. That might be a good thread to start...how are we obligated, if at all, to family? especially those like you just described...Hummm
Anyhow, my recovering years have brought rewards I'd never thought possible. Stay strong for sake of what is common decency. Beware of your association with such family members because they are of a mind set that is self destructive; and they don't want to go it alone.
Let the dead, bury their dead.
granny