Analysis of Religions & why it happens

Shit happens...

Always funny.

Taoism: Shit happens.

Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.

Stoicism: This shit is its own reward.

Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Pentecostalism: In Jesus' name, heal this shit!

Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.

Marxism: This shit is going to hit the fan.

Atheism: No shit.

Existentialism: Shit does not happen, shit is.

Agnosticism: What is this shit?

Nihilism: Who gives a shit?

Deconstruction: Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.

Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.

Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.

Jehovah's Witnesses: Let us in your house and we will explain why shit happens!

Scientology: Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard

Hare Krishna: Shit happens, Rama Rama.

Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.

Rastafarianism :Let's smoke this shit.

Satanism: I call the darkest shit on you.