" See ourselfs as others see us"

by The Rebel 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    The membership rule is simple, you join the organisation for life and undertake to serve for life.

    My O.P is based on the poet Robert Burns who talked about the gift to " see ourselfs as others see us"

    I think maybe the hardest thing for me to leave, the Jehovers Witness " Organisation" was to accept how my family and friends will now "see" me.

    So my questions are how difficult was it to leave:-

    A) knowing the reaction of friends and family?

    B) Was the price of having left worth it?

    I was lucky my wife's father who has spent most of his life as a witness, distributed magazines since he was a young man,and is still a witness, helped me when I spoke of my doubts by saying " you do what you think is right" .

    He always wears the same unfashionable clothes and has the same hairstyle from when I first met him. A true believer but a down to earth man. And even now I have left he never tires talking to me, and he never judges me. Not sure I would be outside without him.

    The Rebel.

  • maksutov

    A) I don't really care how they see me. If they think less of me just because I don't believe the same things they do, they are not the kind of people I want to be friends with anyway.

    B) Hell yeah.

    Having said that, I think it does take either a very strong mind, or a certain type of personality (non-sentimental, more logical than emotional, or very easy going) to cope well with leaving. Even then, it is still hard. It must have been harder before the internet though.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Yea I agree, Maksutov.

    You can tell how not down, nor numbed out I am now.....I am a lot happier now, and it's great to be at that stage. ( I understand though all circumstances are different, and sentiment and emotion are a good reason to stay in)

    And anyway, YES I agree, in all truth I think what ever the circumstances the Internet does make it easier.

    But back to the O.P I still do care how others see me. However I just received my " Tax Return " in the post, and their are other things in life to worry about 🎯

    The Rebel.

  • SecretSlaveClass
    It was worth it for me, but then again it was infinitely easier for me since I wasn't baptized and only my immediate family were witnesses, so I had lots of uncles, aunts and cousins who thought my mom and brother were nut cakes (my dad was just a publisher). Also, I had heaps of worldly friends and even some of my JW friends still hung out with me. For those of you who are/were baptized, have die-hard zombies for spouses with kids, and entire families in the Borg with few or no contacts on the outside, I think you're incredibly brave for breaking away. You all have my sincere and utmost respect.
  • vinman
    I understand how a person feels this way. I currently have been avoiding the thought. But I must admit, their are maybe a few individuals and one family I do care how they view me. I just wish they would listen to me and at least acknowledge why I left. Right now, I haven't seen a witness come near my house in months. I am like a barrel of toxic waste that no one wants to disturb.
  • Phizzy

    A born-in, in for 58 years, all family and most friends in, it was not easy for me and Mrs Phizzy. My JW family are now cool and reserved, and we get no invites to family get-togethers.

    Was it worth it the "price"?

    What have we lost ? nothing at all of value.

    What have we gained ? Have you got 3 hours or so ? no, thought not, I'll try and be succinct:

    We have gained true Freedom, Real friends, the right to be real people, we have gained contentment with who we are, and Peace.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Love the replys....which also clarify why I am not "HAUNTED"...as they hoped.

    Instead I have personal attitude, confidence, a feeling of being....but that is not to say it was an easy path.

    Remember to be a witness we needed to be " HONEST " " HUMBLE " and " HUNGRY "

    i guess I lacked those 3 qualities for success as a " J.W" now I am on " HIATUS " " HUMANE" and " " Happy" ....or at least getting that way:-)

  • stuckinarut2
    Amen Phizzy!
  • John Aquila
    John Aquila

    Phizzy why should I even comment? I was in about 42 years and feel the same way you do.

    And my health has improved 100% My blood pressure went from 180/90 to 120s/70s

    We don't realize the stress and strain of being a JW.

  • Vidiot
    I think JWs could benefit from seeing themselves as others see them.

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