A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders
a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts
jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some
sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool
table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and
swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what
your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He
just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.
"He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll
pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his
drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his
monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey
starts running around the bar again. While the man is
drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the
bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out,
and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then
pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.
"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he
ate that cue ball he measures everything first!"