won't you be my neighbor?

by dark clouds 9 Replies latest social humour

  • dark clouds
    dark clouds

    You are a carpenter,
    and you are banging away with your trusty hammer.
    The hammer is your friend, your ally.
    Without that hammer, you could not do your job.
    You could not be a carpenter.
    You would be helpless.

    And then someone taps you on the shoulder and you turn around.
    And it's Mr. Rogers. . .

    "Hello Mr. Rogers!"
    you say,
    " What are you doing here?"

    He points and says,
    in that polite way he has,
    "That hammer you have there----
    you know that could be used as a weapon don't you?"

    You look at the hammer.
    This isn't a weapon.
    It's my primary tool."

    "But it's a weapon just the same.
    You can hit someone by accident if you are not paying attention.
    Or you can break someones skull open with it deliberately."

    You look at the hammer.
    "Yeah? So? What is your point?"

    "You have to take responsability for that, you know.
    You must only use that weapon for nice, polite, constructive purposes.
    You have to do only nice things with it."
    He smiles.
    So we can all be neighbors?
    will you be careful with that hammer?"

    "Yeah, sure. Fine.
    It can be used as a weapon, OK?
    I'll be careful."

    "That's good,"
    says a smiling Mr. Rogers.
    "We all have to be polite to each other.
    No matter what we are actually thinking,
    we should be nice and say nice things and not offend anyone by hitting them with hammers.

    And you realize the truth of Mr. Rogers' words,
    because at that moment you're contemplating what it would be like to crush his skull with your hammer. . . .
    But that would not be nice.
    Not at all. . .


  • mommy

    I liked the basic story until the end I hated when he would talk and sing the whole time changing his shoes and coat. That always cracked me up. Thanks Dark Clouds!

  • riz

    My friend Marguerite met Mr. Rogers in person when she was young. She said he was a nasty tempered jerk, not appreciating his adolescent fans in the least. She told me that when one child asked for his autograph, he muttered "Damn kids..." and walked off, ignoring the child's request.

    This never surprised me, as I always had my reservations about a middle aged man who lived in a land of make-believe and conversed with puppets. Especially Lady Elaine Fairchild. Jesus, I still have nightmares about her.


  • Prisca

    hmm... another reason why I am glad I grew up in Australia

  • dark clouds
    dark clouds

    What exactly WAS Lady Elaine Fairchild??!!


    I have this whole parallel going on in my brain that explains the land of make-believe and other enuendos dealing with the show, but for the love of Pete WTF was Lady Elaine. . .

    please someone correct me from thinking it was his alter ego in drag!!!


  • riz

    Hey Chuck,

    I have my theory of Lady Elaine. I think 'she' is the embodyment (in puppet form, of course,) of Mr. Rogers' evil psyche. You can tell by watching him that there's something sinister behind that cardigan.

    I think he created 'her' so he would have an outlet for his pent up evil. I think she is a ruse for his dementia. She scared the hell out of me when I was a kid, seriously. I would have nightmares.

    On the other hand, the alter ego in drag conclusion could also be correct. I find it disturbing that he was the voice behind Lady Elaine. He had his hand up her nether region, (how sick is that?),
    puppeteering her, acting out his repressed mania.

    That show was ripe with innuendo. The trolley? Hello!
    Mr. Rogers is a deviant. No question. Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into this. Please tell me it's not just me. LOL.


  • Seven

    Hey Chuck and riz,

    Take a trip back to the neighborhood: http://www.pbs.org/rogers/ What a degenerate. I always wondered what else he kept in that closet, and that Norman Bates' mother thing he had going on with Lady Elaine, as riz said his hand up the puppet's keister. It still gives me chills. LOL The public funded this man's twisted fantasies-go figure.


  • riz


    That site is so wrong! Thanks for the link. I'm with you on the idea of him keeping more than extra shoes and sweaters in that closet.
    I toured the Neighborhood of Makebelieve. Did you notice the striking resemblance between Prince Tuesday and Damien?

    And, yes, he and his nefarious troupe are funded by the public.
    God bless America.


  • Seven

    Hey riz, Prince Tuesday does resemble Damien.lol Also, Lady Elaine looked too much like Jane Hathaway from the Beverly Hillbillies. If you visited the neighborhood page with Elaine and Daniel Tiger, click on the mailbox. There are ecards there we can send to all of our friends and neighbors. I think Chuck could appreciate one of those.

  • riz


    I love it. Thanks for pointing the way!


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