Archaeologists in Rome yesterday unveiled a new find: a scroll that appears to be part of a late Roman discussion forum. The topic under discussion was "Is Rome A Bvlly?", and we are priviliged to reproduce the first few posts below:
Robdarius (vestal virgin member) MCXLI posts
I was listening to the criers last night. The latest word from the war front is that we should be able to peaceably work out our differences with the Huns. As humiliating as it will be for us to kiss Attila's ass, we will do so because they do have the ability to pillage Tuscany.
The Allamanni, however, are still toast. Yep, we are gonna show the Krauts a thing or two.
To me, this is proof that the Allamanni do not have slingshot capability. If they did, we would be looking for a peaceful solution to the problems that our government is telling us that we have with them.
I have often had the suspicion that Rome is the bully of the world. As a government, we go where we please, stick our noses into business that isn't ours and then flex our military muscle if the country we are bossing about tells us to go bugger ourselves. The latest news reports have helped confirm my suspicions.
This is not an insult to the Emperor. Republicans are just as guilty.
It's time for us as a nation to reconsider just what the government is doing in the name of the Roman people. We must put an end to the atrocities conducted by our government under the guise of protecting "civilisation and learning".
Robynus, of the waiting to be thrown to the lions class
LBSPQR (gallootus member) MMMDLXXIV posts
Yep what bullies we are. Imagine a world without Rome. It would just be peaceful and loving, a paradise for all to enjoy.
Larcula (maximus grumpii member) VMMLVIII posts
Robyn, I won't be the one to throw you to the lions, because I agree with you. I am a Senator and I like Valentinian. However, and this is a big however, I am worried about our power. I did not like it when Parthia was a threat. Nonetheless, they did provide a balance of power, something that does not exist now. I think that we will go to war with the Allamanni, even if they fully comply with inspection demands. Why? Because Valentinian wants to make up for his father's mistakes, and Valentinian is driven by emotion as well as reason, and emotion will win out. As far as The Huns go, I think we won't go after them, simply because we don't want our military resources spread across Asia
Ballisticus (pleb member) MMDXLIX posts
Britannia is branded with the same iron as Rome, Constantine Coronog's new year speech today made that clear. But I think countries will do what they want at the end of the day. If your Emperor is thinking otherwise he is mistaken. Non-proliferation is a myth. You can find how to build catapults at the bibliotheca.
Stanus Conrae (lunaticus canuckus member) XLIX posts
This is my opinion:
From the viewpoint of a non-Roman, I would say that yes, Rome does seem to be the world's bully. And a selfish one at that. Why does Rome stick it's nose in some world affairs while ignoring the rest?
Carthage 149BC= trade: get involved
Greece 172BC= olive oil: get involved
The Balkans 398AD(ish)= proven no-win situation : don't get involved
numerous civil wars in Africa (perpetual)= nothing to gain: don't get involved
There are more examples, but you get the point. Now as far as history goes, Rome has a tendancy to seek glory where it is not deserved. Look at the battle of Argentoratum. The Batavii army did the work, then were ordered by Rome to stand down while Roman troops rolled in and took the glory. But yes, Rome was necessary to defeat Germany in 357. In the Punic Wars the Gallic Auxillaries were a major factor in defeat of the Carthaginians at Corinth, Carthage etc. but Roman history portrays the Roman armies destruction of Carthage in 146BC as the factor in the defeat of Carthage. The statistics prove this to be wrong.
I don't disagree that Rome is a necessary evil as LBSPQR elludes to. But don't be so surprised that the rest of the world doesn't like you. Even your closest friend to the north tolerates you, maybe even needs you, but we don't really like you.
In commenting upon the find, Professor Dusty Tomes said "we in the modern really have no idea of the great questions dealt with on a daily basis by the Romans. Fortunately, we live in more enlightened times."