ANWT: The neighborly Samaritan

by No Apologies 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    On this, the first day of 2003, I am pleased to announce the existence of the Apostate New World Translation Commitee. This anonymous group of devoted apostate men has been formed to produce a modern language Apostate New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures.

    Some may ask, why a new translation? It is true that over the the years the Watchtower Society has produced many translations that have helped the honest-hearted to see the truth about the "truth." However none of them really met the needs of the sincere apostate. This new Bible will be very useful in exposing just how wrong the Watchtower Society is. This new translation is actually a version, in that it uses a modern idiom to convey its message.

    Here is just a sample of what you can look forward to when the complete Apostate New World Translation is made available. It is Jesus' parable of the Neighborly Samaritan, taken from Luke 10:25-37.

    25 Now, look! an MTS graduate rose up, to test him out, and said: "Teacher, by doing what shall I inherit everlasting life?" 26 He said to him: "What is written in the Law? How do you read?" 27 In answer he said: "You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole strength and with your whole mind, and, your neighbor as yourself." 28 He said to him: "You answered correctly; keep on doing this and you will get life."


    But, wanting to prove himself overly righteous, the young brother said to Jesus: "Who really is my neighbor?" 30 In reply Jesus said: "A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jer'icho and fell among robbers, who both stripped him and inflicted blows, and went off, leaving him half-dead. 31 Now, by coincidence, a certain elder was going down over that road, but, when he saw him, he stopped and approached the man and asked, "Do you have a long record of faithful service, or do you have family members that could help you? Are there any government agencies or programs that could assist someone in your circumstances?" The man was too stunned to reply, so the elder got back in his car and went on his way. 32 Likewise, a Circuit Overseer also, when he got down to the place and saw him, pulled over and questioned the man. "This is terrible, who attacked you?" "Some robbers," the man replied painfully. "Were there any other witnesses to this?" the CO asked. When the poor man indicated there were not, the CO sadly headed back to his car. "It's not that I don't believe you," he said as he climbed into his late-model Buick, "but it is simply your word against theirs." After admonishing the poor man on the dangers of slander, he drove off. 33 But a certain apostate traveling the road came upon him and, at seeing him, he was moved with pity. 34 He quickly called 911 and a ambulance soon arrived. 35 On learning the victim had no insurance, he insisted on paying for all his medical bills. 36 Who of these three seems to you to have made himself neighbor to the man that fell among the robbers?" 37 The MTS graduate said: "The one that offered him a free home Bible study?." Jesus replied in disgust: "Were you listening at all?"

    Hopefully you all realize just what a marvelous new tool this Apostate New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures will be in opening the eyes of JWs everywhere. As work progresses, more excerpts will be posted here for your enjoyment.


    Apostate New World Translation Commitee

    Edited by - No apologies on 1 January 2003 19:12:59

    Edited by - No Apologies on 1 January 2003 19:18:59

  • Navigator

    No Apologies

    lol. I can hardly wait for the completed work. I sincerely hope that you have included Elsewhere and Francois on your committee.

  • Gopher

    LOL No Apologies!! Brilliant! encore, encore!

    BTW, will the ANWT (being apostate as it is) accept anonymous female translators as well? I would nominate Scully and Blondie for outstanding insight and writing skills.

    Edited by - Gopher on 1 January 2003 17:45:20

  • blondie

    NA, I always thought that this was the proper understanding. Wonderful translation and application.


  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Thank you all for your kind words. Now can anyone explain why it is impossible to format a post correctly here? What a pain in the butt this editor is! I have tried three times and each time I fix one thing something else gets messed up!

  • lisavegas420

    I quickly need a shepherding call ..and someone to start a home bible stude as soon as possible...

    Thank you 'brother'


  • Francois

    I'm not on the translation committee, but I certainly don't see how I could offer any improvement on that great work.


  • hamptonite21

    That is too funny.

  • LeslieV

    When is it going to be completed??? I want to buy one!! LOL. The sad thing about it is that everything you wrote is all true. Those reasons alone make me so glad I am no longer identified with that silly cult.


  • jgnat

    Excellent, NoAp. Here's another one.

    Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their studies and scorned the world. Two men went to the Kingdom Hall for the Public Talk. One was an Elder in good standing, and the other was in dirty sweats reeking of alcohol. The Elder prayed this "I thank you Jehovah that I am not a sinner like everyone else, especially like that drunk over there! For I never forget my suit and tie, I dont smoke, and I have never celebrated a pagan holiday. I put in twice my required hours every month, and I am a humble man open to reproof and correction." But the man in sweats stood at the back and dared not even lift his eyes as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, "O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner." The ushers sprang in to action and quickly bundled him out of the hall. I tell you, this sinner, not the Elder, returned home justified before Jehovah. For the proud will be humbled, but the humble will be honoured. Luke 18:9-14

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