Advantages to Getting Older - Part I
1) People get out of the way when you drive down the street.
2) You don't have to study history; you saw it happen.
3) Foods you don't like taste like foods you do like.
4) Saying that you forgot is enough of an excuse.
5) You will probably be among the first hostages released.
6) You don't have to buy the extended warranty because you aresure you'll be dead before you could use it.
7) Your investment in health insurance is beginning to pay off.
8) You can lie about your age without guilt now that you sometimes forget what it is.
9) It's easier to pick you teeth. Just remove them from your mouth and hold them up to the light.
10)Your secrets are safe because your friends can't remember them.
11)You no longer have to waste money on things like sexy underwear, water skis, entrance fees for marathons and home pregnancy kits.
12)Your friends are too nearsighted to notice that you are not wearing makeup.
13)Things that you buy now will not wear out.
14)You can watch for the obituaries of people you don't like.
15)Your spouse still snores, but you can't hear it.
16)Your joints are more accurate or predicting the weather than the Weather Channel.
17)You are less and less likely to be subjected to a strip search.
18)You can turn off your hearing aid when you've heard the joke before.
19)You can't remember Bush is President.
20)You have less grey hairs to count because you have less hair.