JW causing more grief over my Dad's death Sat.

Nancy K

My JW sister is causing problems with my Dad's death this past Saturday..She is down in Florida, where my parents live, went there on a pleasure trip to begin with, then our Dad passed (as I wrote) unexpectedly..Now, she is pressuring my Mom to have a viewing and a 'talk' by some JW's and my Mom does not want this..My sister is one of those 'double life' JW's..She says unkind things about me behind my back, re: my illness(as my Mom has told me), but SHE has been 'engaged' for 4 yrs.to a 'worldly guy' and we all know they sleep together, etc.,then she turns around and acts like she's Miss Spirituality..For her to do what she's doing NOW, well I don't know what to do..I want my Mom and Dad's wishes to be #1, and for her to try and pressure my Mom into a service, also without giving me a chance to be there, well I'm not feeling too good at this point..Thank you all so much for your replies, e-mails and love..Don't know what I would do without you guys.

freedom96

I think your mom's wishes should be respected, whatever they are. Your sister sounds like she has issues of her own, and should not be forcing your mom to make a decision she may later regret. I would support your mom without question. Find out what she really wants, and stand by her side.

Best wishes.

Francois

Nancy, I'm with you all the way.

If I were in your position, I would confront my sister with her hypocrisy and maybe even threaten to expose her to her local elders for fornication, lying, deceit, littering, and every other thing I could come up with until she shut her pie-hole and butted out. And I would do it in such a way that left no doubt that I was serious in my intent.

No way I'd give the JWs a venue for their "service" that is nothing more than a thinly disguised recruiting speech.

Stick to your guns, Nancy. You can't be walked on unless you lie down first.

francois

JT

but SHE has been 'engaged' for 4 yrs.to a 'worldly guy' and we all know they sleep together, etc.,then she turns around and acts like she's Miss Spirituality

use fire to fight fire- tell her you are calling the elders to let them know about her double life- smile

since it is bothering your conscience to know that she is sleeping around

rocketman

Nancy, I am sorry to hear that things are getting even more difficult for you. As freedom96 says, your mom's wishes, and any wishes that your dad may have discussed with her and/or stipulated are the ones that should be met (though he passed unexpectedly, perhaps in the past he made some type of wishes known).

I'm not really sure that getting into a confrontation with your sister on her behavoir is really a good idea right now, unless she really pushes it. I would think that trying to smooth things over with minimal confrontation would be the way to go, since your entire family is really hurting right now. But whatever the case, your parent's wishes should be all means be repected.

Once again, I send my deepest sympathy with regard to the loss of your dad.

Sentinel

Hi There,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your father, and saddened that you are having such emotional stress between family. Personally I'd give some thought to adding to that pressure by bringing other issues out into the open right now.

Let your mother make the decision, and then support her in what she decides. If you can't make it to any service, send your "heart" there by prayerful thought. My dad was very ill, and took a sudden turn for the worse. My sisters were on the phone to me from there various homes, and we were all trying to decide what would be best. We pretty much agreed that since we were all "out" and mom was very "in", that what she decided to do upon his eminent death would be her choice. We said to each other that we weren't going to make the long trips to be there, when there was nothing we could do for dad, and he was already in a coma, and mom was "living in her own little JW world".

Then, I found out that my sisters did make the flight there, and I was the only one that didn't go. Dad passed away before they could get there in time. I really felt totally left out and rather guilty, but in the long run, it worked out much better. The family was really crunched for room enough to keep my two sisters for two weeks. So, I waited until several months later, when mom was settled into her new apartment, to go for a visit. It was a very good thing to do. I have no regrets about my initial decision to just "stay away". In our situation, it worked best for me and for my mother.

Whatever decision you make, just make it with your heart and be willing to live with it later on. If someone asks your opinion, give it, but remember, that these things are not in your control. Regrets are difficult to get past. I wish you and your family the strength and courage and love, to get through this stressful time without widdening the chasm that already exists.

You will be in my thoughts.

Nancy K

Thanks JT, I was told that because I am a disfellowshipped person, that the elders would not believe me (re: what my sister is doing)..AND, according to the witnesses I asked, (this was a few weeks ago), aside from the elders not believing me, it didn't matter, because Jehovah knows and will take care of it at the proper time! LOL cynically...Well, alot has changed in a few weeks, and according to my Mom, she does not want this JW 'thing' my sister is trying to push her in to. My Mom is not well either, in fact she had a heart attack 4 months ago, and she is still weak..and vulnerable. This just totally sickens me...Thank you again..NK

Nancy K

Thank you also, Francois, very, very much...NK

SheilaM

Nancy:

I am sorry to hear you lost your father. I do know that sisters like that come in all forms of control freaks, my Mother has alzheimer's she has always doted on my sister that was the druggie, sex fiend weirdo <GO FIGURE> well now they diagnosed Mom with Lymphoma my idiot sister wants her to do chemo etc. WHY, she has one incurable illness ya know why make her suffer her last few moments of lucidity. I wish I had the answers for you, if you can get a hold of some strong support people to back your Mom it might help your Mom get her wishes met. I wish I could say talk to your sister but just like with mine they are the type that feel they have all the answers and you never will. Just know that your father is at Peace and that you know what is right she has to live with herself in the end. Just try to protect your Mom.

Also on the stroke my Mom was taking aspirin, there is a medical research linking strokes in WOMEN to asprin, they should take baby aspirin instead. My Mom started taking the baby aspirin and the mini strokes stopped.

Sheila

avishai

The way I see it it's two to one in your favor, also your mom is ill. Your sister needs to realize that a jw service is'nt going to change god's mind either way. Harrassing your sick mother WILL have an affect on the way "god" views her!

JW causing more grief over my Dad's death Sat.

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