In a way I found all the contradictions and lies as somewhat reassuring on a level I never expected.
Mind you, I've not been anywhere near these people in about 20 years, and I had even ignored them until 2014 came around and I suddenly remembered that a JW told me that it would be impossible for Jehovah or Jesus to let this system of things last anywhere near 2014. I've known they lie and cheat and hate for some time.
But hearing Jackson contradict what other Governing Body members had said about the sexual child abuse crimes in their midst and listening to him say how it would be "presumptuous" of them to claim what they have been claiming all this time, that they are Jehovah's mouthpiece and the only true religion--that did something further for me.
I've lost all care about them as human beings. All respect, all concern, everything that is there inside of me for people I do not even know, all that disappeared and it was like the door finally closed on this chapter in my life--and again I thought the door was closed for me 20 years ago when I left!
While the Catholic Church no longer considers itself the only conduit of truth, it still claims to be the original historical church body Jesus founded and the Pope still claims to be the Vicar of Christ. Hearing Jackson lie about what the Governing Body claims it is and contradicting statements of other Governing Body members would be like the Pope saying: "It would be preposterous for us to believe we are the historical church founded by Christ and for me to claim to be Christ's Vicar."
I'm not a Christian as most of you know, but that would unwind everything about the Church and its claims for the past 2000 years, wouldn't it? And I don't think any pope is cowardly enough to back down from testifying to what they believe about themselves and their religion.
To hear Jackson do that made me see him and the rest of the Governing Body and their followers as dead. Their religion is more than proven false now to me, it is finished. It's over. They are now just some crazy folks. They are as nutty as that Orthodox Jew who went through the gay pride parade in Israel several days back stabbing people because he believed it was G-d's will (for those who don't know, I'm both gay and a practicing Jew). These fanatical Jews who live as if time has stood still (or should stand still) are the JWs of Jewry, and we often sigh over them just like many do the JWs.
What Jackson did was just like that. It was as if he went through a crowd of his own people, those who have believed in and have pride in every word the Governing Body teaches and stabbed them in the back. He did more than deny his faith, he denied those who have put so much faith in him and the Governing Body and the whole JW set-up. He stabbed all those people, his fellow Governing Body members, and then cut his throat in front of everybody with his "Us? The ones Jehovah speaks through? Preposterous!" comment.
It was like there was one lone lamp left on in a hidden room in my attic, a lamp I had forgotten that spread a very weak and wasted light. And suddenly, with Jackson's words, the lamp went out--but it went out because the lamp managed to push itself off a table and smash its own lightbulb. Stupid lamp!
I don't know how to really put it, but it's like they don't exist anymore. I know they do, but those people just don't matter anymore.
To me they have proven themselves nothing but impotent.