Im feeling depressed

by BlackWolf 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fleshyheadedmutant

    I am with the others. Do talk to your parents about being lonely. See if you can take some sort of classes away from home. Maybe you could volunteer at an animal shelter or perform some other community service.Please be patient.I'll bet you are very found us, didn't you? Keep investigating more information on the computer. Do some research on subjects you'd like to know about. Go to the library. They even have places for teens, and book clubs. You can become well read. Abraham Lincoln was largely self taught, became a lawyer, and then President.

    Yes, you'll be driving soon and can get about with a bit more freedom. Make some goals for your future, especially in the realm of education. Have patience. You can do it!

  • Scully

    You can speak in confidence to your doctor about your eating disorder and the symptoms you're experiencing.

    While it's normal to go through anxiety at this stage of your life, if it is worsening your eating disorder, then it needs to be addressed medically. Ask your doctor if there are any counsellors that work with youth, or eating disorder groups that don't charge you to attend.

    Being home schooled is tough - but perhaps you can go to a local school, tell them your story and ask them if you can enroll, or take some tests to see what level you achieve so they can place you appropriately.

    See if you can get a job after school. Places like Wal-Mart offer scholarships to deserving staff members.

    School and work offer you opportunities to get acquainted with new people. Trust your Spidey-sense - if someone gives you a bad vibe, don't get too close, too quickly. Friendships - real ones as opposed to Kingdom Hall™ ones - take time to develop, so be patient with yourself and the new people you meet.

    School and work also give you a chance to be away from your parents' domineering influence. I honestly think you need space and time away from that environment. You can love your parents without realizing that they are excessively controlling.

    If you aren't yet Baptized™, DON'T do it. There's no rush. Armageddon™ isn't coming. You can get on with your education, go to college, learn whatever skills you like, and begin a career, although you may need to maintain a back up job while you get established as an artist.

    Check in here whenever you like. You're welcome here. You're safe here.

  • Heaven

    Hi BlackWolf ... thank you for posting.

    My advice to you is to do what you love.

    If going to art school is what you'd like to do, then get a plan together to make it happen. Are there any art teachers who you could talk to in the local public or high school or maybe online that could point you to a mentor? I just Googled 'mentors for art students' and there seem to be a number of links. Have you started a portfolio of your work? Maybe if you haven't you could begin working on this or if you have, work on a project you think might be good for it. Sometimes actually doing something towards your goals helps with motivation.

    I am quite shocked that parents who are homeschooling their children are not under some tight scrutiny. This seems illegal to me not to teach your children the necessary subjects to allow them to be the same equivalency as publicly educated children.

    BlackWolf said: I really do love my parents and I think they are good people that have just been misguided.

    This is me as well BlackWolf. Remember, your life is yours to create. If you let others do it for you, you will never be happy. If you don't want to be a JW then don't be. I was born-in and never baptized. I have tried to live my life so that the claims about worldly people that JW's make are unfounded. I have a good job. I went to College. You can do this too. My parents did not save for our educations so I had to pay for it myself. I got jobs babysitting and working in the local grocery store and convenience store throughout high school. I banked money and also got a student loan, which I paid back as soon as I got my job.

    Good luck with things and please keep us updated.

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    "Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy but I'm too afraid to tell my parents because I know they will just send me right back to the mental hospital. What should I do?"

    Hi BlackWolf. I'm assuming you've had certain problems before. Find a doctor and get on some good medications for your depression. A lot of creative people have had personal issues to deal with.

  • BlackWolf
    Thank you all very much :)
  • BlackWolf
    Village Idiot, I would go to the doctors straight away but I've had many bad experiences with medications and now I'm afraid to try new ones :(
  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Hello Sweetheart.....sorry you're feeling badly these days.....glad you told us about it.

    I raised Boys and believe it or not, they often deal with much the same feelings as you describe however their reaction to these feelings and willingness to vocalize them is wherein the difference lies.

    You sound like a bright articulate young lady and I'm guessing your already know that if, as you say, you are feeling depressed, it is difficult to come up with any positive thoughts about your future. Depression or even just a low mood, can make one feel as if they are climbing Mt. Everest carrying a suitcase in one hand and a watermelon in the other. Even if one is able to come up with an idea or two, depression or even just a low mood, can rob you of the energy you need to move forward.

    The good news is that depression can lift as quickly as it came upon you especially if one is not tempted to wait until they feel better, to move forward...even just a little bit. It's often best to go ahead and do what you'd like to be doing, if only only weren't feeling so badly....even if you have to fake it. Sometimes just a brisk walk in the outdoors can be enough to sort of snap you out of that "stuck" feeling.

    Anyone who has been your age and has slugged their way through the feelings and situations you described in your post, knows how unpleasant it feels and they also realize that they learned many valuable skills for having gone through it. They also know that it is absolutely possible to come through it with flying colors and to even be grateful for having experienced it. When you think of it, many beautiful works of art, amazing songs and books were born from someone's emotional suffering. Humans are capable of a full range of emotions and to be a fully developed person, one has to experience all of them....even the unpleasant ones.

    The thing to remember is that your life is not an emergency. You are 16 and you must trust that like the rest of us, you'll make your way through your life doing the best you can, but you'll do this on a day to day basis, little by little gaining the skills and experience that will make things easier to deal with. Also, don't you think life would be a little boring if we had all the answers we need, immediately? Part of what makes life interesting is not knowing. Get comfortable with the unknown and not always having the answers. Some of the most interesting 40+ year olds I've met are the ones who don't know what they want to be when they grow up, are searching and are enjoying the process.

    When you are feeling overly anxious it could be because you are looking too far ahead into the future to things that may never happen and to things that are impossible to resolve now. You may do better to reel your thoughts in so that you are thinking only a few days ahead and the baby steps you can take each day.

    When you are feeling angry or sad, it could be because you are looking at the past and at things that have already happened and are over and done with. We feel our best when we live in the moment and are totally engrossed in what is happening right now and we are taking steps, no matter how small, toward the place or situation we'd like to eventually find ourselves in.

    It's nice to hear that you love your parents and are interested in art and have talent. This is a good foundation from which to build...many would love to be able to say as much. I'm glad you have an outlet here regarding the JW issue but for now, try to see the value in it even if it's only the lesson you are learning in being patient and in sticking with things that you'd rather not do. That is a skill that will make your life a lot easier.

  • KateWild

    Hey are you doing today?

    I am most concerned about your eating's good you know you have one and that should help you recover.

    Hopefully you can get therapy or counselling to help you with your eating disorder.....not medication. I can see why you're scared about going back toothed doctor.

    How are you doing?

    Kate xx

  • never a jw
    never a jw
    Not much to add to the good advice you received. Regarding your eating disorder, based on my personal experience (eating even when I am not hungry) try exercise, even walking can help. But it's better if you establish a routine that you adhere to and is rather intensive. I am skeptic by nature about faith based beliefs, but if there's any subject that would bring out the word faith to my mind, it is exercise. It cures, or at least helps cure many physical and mental problems.
  • LisaRose
    Village Idiot, I would go to the doctors straight away but I've had many bad experiences with medications and now I'm afraid to try new ones

    I get that, I had a disastrous experience with Cymbalta. But there are a lot of non pharmaceutical treatments for depression. These are some things that have helped me.

    Meditation. I always recommend meditation. It's free, easy and scientifically proven to help with depression and anxiety. Set a goal to meditate every day for at least five minutes. There are a lot of ways to meditate, so try different things until you find one that works. As a start, do this quickie version anytime you start to feel anxious: close you eyes, and open your mouth slightly (this makes sure you are not clenching your jaw). Breath in slowly for a count of eight seconds (one thousand one, one thousand two....) . Hold that breath for eight seconds, then slowly breath out for eight seconds. Repeat as many times as needed. You will start to feel a tiny bit better immediately. Controlling your breathing is a way to control your emotions and your mind.

    Journaling. Start a journal, sit down every day and write three pages. It doesn't matter what you write, just put down everything in your head. If you are concerned with anyone finding your journal, tear the pages up and flush them down the toilet when you are done, it is the process that is important, not the result. The process of writing your thoughts helps you tap into your inner self. Julia Cameron wrote a book called The Artists Way, in which she recommended this to help people to release their creative potential. It's like cleaning a clogged pipe, the good stuff can't get through until you get rid of the junk.

    Exercise. If you aren't exercising, try talking a walk every day. Physical exercise is helpful with treating depression and anxiety, exposure to sunlight also helps.

    Goal setting. Visualize your perfect life. Think about it, how it would feel, what you would be doing. Then start by setting small, attainable goals to get you to that life. They recently did a study about people that were realistic about their potential versus people that were overly optimistic about it. The unrealistic, overly optimistic people achieved more. They didn't reach what they saw as their potential, but they achieved more than the realists. So, fool yourself a little, dream big.

    Banish negative thoughts. Many people with a tendency to depression have negative thought loops going on in their heads. You may think things like "I can never be happy, "I'm a failure, "life sucks", etc. Stop yourself and replace those thoughts with better ones. For example, if you make a mistake, instead of saying " I can't do anything right", say "I made a mistake, but I will learn from that and get better", "I will get through this because I am strong", " It's OK to makes mistakes, that's how you learn".

    Confide in a friend. Find the most supportive person in your life and ask them to help you by just listening. If there is no one in your life who you feel comfortable with, message me, or another person here on the JWN. We are here to help. My own daughter had mental health issues as a teen, so really, nothing you could say would shock me, been there done that, got the t-shirt.

    Show gratitude. Your life may be very difficult right now, but you also have some good things. Be grateful every day for the things you do have. If you are basically healthy, be thankful, many are not. Do you have friends or a beloved pet? Some people in the world have no home, or are in a war torn country, or don't have enough to eat or medical care. This is not to minimize your struggles, but sometimes gratitude turns what we have into enough.

    I hope this helps, they are all lessons I learned the hard way. Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing

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