WAKING UP A DUB : effective communication

by Terry 5 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Terry


    Our communication has to pass through the mind of another human being and survive what his or her mind is going to do with it!

    Words—by themselves—have to motivate the listener in the same way a combination lock will open if the correct numbers are dialed in exactly the correct sequence. Obviously 4-13-7 can’t open the lock unless they come in specific order: Left- twice around to Right- half turn to Left.

    Human beings are far more complex than combination locks. Duh.

    Imagine a combination lock with EMOTIONS or PREJUDICES!

    (“Did you just say 4? I hate 4! And 13 is a very unlucky number, you imbecile. I’ll accept 7, however.”)


    Words almost always trigger EMOTIONS. Emotions exactly = values held by the listener.

    If you talk to a Southerner about a Yankee or an old black person about the Ku Klux Klan, you release an emotion which exactly equals their personal experiences with those words. Emotions are like a burglar alarm going off warning or signaling something. Emotions can be buried so deep they are beyond our conscious ability to retrieve the reason behind the attached VALUE. You better believe that value IS there!

    When a JW thinks about an Apostate, what happens?

    A little search engine goes to work looking for VALUE equivalency. Apostate=????

    Every message that you bring into the world is subject to the interpretations and emotions of the people who receive it. Like it or not, this is why miscommunication happens.

    Have you ever heard about a husband who gave his wife a microwave oven for their anniversary? His intentions are the best, but the way the gift is received is badly interpreted! Once the words leave your lips, they no longer belong to you.

    Words undergo extraction of value by the listener which motivates an EMOTION.


    Each time a Jehovah’s Witness receives a signal message from the Governing Body they have been steadily conditioned over many years to drop any personal barriers of skeptical review before taking it to heart as a motivating force. Governing Body = Surrender of Will.

    If your doctor prescribes medicine you trust in the physician’s expertise. You take the pill as prescribed with full and automatic confidence of its effectiveness. All of your life the idea of a doctor as somebody with healing skills has been constantly reinforced. So too with Jehovah’s Witnesses. There has been indoctrination targeting issues of TRUST. Who are JW’s supposed to distrust--almost everybody else but Jehovah’s Organization. Outsiders equal the concept of corruption and untruth. The emotion motivated is FEAR.

    Along comes an Apostate and what happens? How are words received? Fear and suspicion soon follow.


    When it comes to communicating with Jehovah’s Witnesses, the critical task, as I’ve suggested, is to go beyond your own understanding and to look at the world from your listener’s point of view. If you self-identify as an Ex-JW, you motivate the Apostasy issues which triggers fight or flight in your listener.

    JW’s are partisans. They are also contrarian. The average JW is like a little kid who brags about how his big brother can “beat anybody up.” JW’s are emboldened to go out and do this actively. These are not highly-educated people, but rather, are practiced and conditioned to bait—troll like—and run away if things go against their arguments. FIGHT or FLIGHT is their pattern. The things which they cannot adequately defend against turn out to be mountain-sized lies told to them and accepted as TRUTH.

    Now hear this: if you can expose an obvious disconnect between the J-Dub’s trust in TRUTH and the obvious LIE it is built on—the “little kid” has to run back to his “big brother” for help! Suddenly down is up and black is white and the sky is falling!


    We can seek to listen, then understand, and ultimately win over the doubter, the fence-sitter, the straddling skeptic only by beating up their “big brother” because bullies are basically cowards. Make no mistake about it—for all their willingness “to die” for their faith, or allow their own children to expire rather than offend the All-Powerful Oz in the sky—all this is conditioned on the VALUE which has been placed on ORGANIZATION’s ability to tell the TRUTH! The magical, mythical FDS or GB is big brother.

    Expose the lying deceit, misrepresentation, and double-speak of their leaders and what happens? The scales fall from their eyes and they wake up! The connection between trust and truth is delicate. It only takes one obvious example to crack the bond.

    Creating that wedge and bringing about the crack in trust and confidence brings down the house of cards. The question now becomes, “How is this best accomplished?”


    It is very important to explain the difference between language that convinces and language that manipulates. Are you ready? THERE IS NONE!

    Read the words of writer Aaron Sorkin:

    “There’s no difference. It’s only when manipulation is obvious, then it’s bad manipulation. What I do is every bit as manipulative as some magician doing a magic trick. If I can wave this red silk handkerchief enough in my right hand, I can do whatever I want with my left hand and you’re not going to see it. When you’re writing fiction, everything is manipulation. I’m setting up the situation specifically so that you’ll laugh at this point or cry at this point or be nervous at this point. If you can see how I’m sawing the lady in half, then it’s bad manipulation. If you can’t see how I did that, then it’s good.”

    What is Sorkin telling us?
    As long as the words of the Watchtower Org aren’t seen to be manipulative by JW’s, those words are CONVINCING because they are trusted to be from Almighty God—but when they are exposed as manipulations by ordinary men—the conviction and trust vanish!

    Our task is to expose the manipulation and make it too obvious to ignore.


    In recent weeks, the entire Ex-JW community has been electrified by the investigation by Australia’s Royal Commission into child sexual abuse in Jehovah’s Witness churches.

    This is by far the most obvious example of how the FDS or GB has lied about being “led by holy spirit” or guided by a Divine Jehovah figure. Logically, if Holy Spirit had any part in channeling JW policy in handling cases of child sexual abuse—well—it’s simply unthinkable, impossible, and instantly falsifying as an acceptable premise!

    1006 files certifying pedophile activity in JW congregations were covered up from authorities, police, child protective services as well as blocking psychologists, counselors and all moral support. Rather than demonstrating “love among themselves” the very opposite has been uncovered and brought to light.

    TV broadcasts from the RC lay bare how clueless, braindead, non-empathetic Elders inside Kingdom Halls “are only following orders” which prevent their own consciences from operating in a practical, common sense manner. Why? They have been manipulated in an evil way. How? Publications and legal advice from the Watchtower Society deliberately distorted the nature of what it means to be a Christian minister tending the flock of God. Legalistic double-talk has short-circuited reporting an obvious crime to police. Old Testament injunctions have been distorted into Catch-22 obstacles to justice.

    Jehovah’s Witnesses will be coaxed, manipulated, urged and threatened into avoiding all contact with this spotlight on corrupt GB activity as revealed in the RC hearings.

    The only protection for these lying policies is the total ignorance of Jehovah’s Witnesses. This is where the Ex-JW community can be most effective at destroying the counterfeit bonds of trust. Ex-JW’s will NOT be effective AS APOSTATES. No. In the mind of vulnerable Dubs, connecting Apostate to the RC will nullify any possibility of awakening because the link between FEAR and APOSTATE is too strongly inculcated.

    I posit and suggest that we in the Ex-JW community perform our education of the rank and file as anonymously as possible! Otherwise, we are the enemy and they will fight anything we say as being lies, distortions, and Satan-inspired.

    TO BE EFFECTIVE, WE MUST AVOID TRIGGERING THE REVULSION and conditioned reflex toward apostates implanted in JW's everywhere.

    Fight fire by using fire. Employ the "Theocratic Warfare" principle of "only those who need to know" are told the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

    Once the JW awakens to the GB manipulation--then and only then--full disclosure is possible.

    Only then will it be received, processed and undistorted.


  • done4good

    Good post, Terry.


  • Tazemanian-devil
    Beautiful, very well written article. I have to remember these points when trying to unindoctrinate my wife.
  • Brighid
    For personal reasons, I've been agonizing over exactly how to do this recently. I've been out for years now - so long that I've gone on past the shunning and trauma of it all that I'd all but forgotten - but now have a situation with a close family member who, after years of hardcore shunning now finds themselves df'd and reaching out to me. I am literally their only support network at the moment. They still believe and are not open to speaking about anything controversial but they recently told me that they'd never be going back. Now I'm in a conundrum and seriously worried about their mental health. I hate that I once again, after years of being free, that now because of my care for this individual, I must tread lightly ONLY due to the absolute power this organization exerted over their mind, body and soul. However, I feel if I don't get this deprogramming information to this person soon, they're going to fall into deeper depression (they also have other things going on in their life on TOP of being df'd and cut off) and possibly harm themselves because they think they're so bad and have nothing to live for. I need help.
  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Your "Language that manipulates" subheading reminds me of a quote by Noam Chomsky:

    "I don't try to persuade people, at least not consciously. Maybe I do. If so, its a mistake. The right way to do things is not to try to persuade people you're right but to challenge them to think it through for themselves."

  • Terry

    I think of it this way: everybody has a right to know reality.

    Decisions and choices--in order to be actual decisions and choices--have to be real.

    When reality is distorted, what happens? Choices become like spending counterfeit money.

    We all want what we want and most of the time reality is harsh, uncomfortable, and daunting.

    But--it is NOT A SOLUTION to pretend we have a 3rd choice (unreality) which solves real problems.

    This is what Jehovah's Witnesses offer: a 3rd (counterfeit) choice.

    How do they do it? They offer black and white views. This or that; Good and Evil.

    Guess which side they place themselves on?

    If you have an Ex-JW friend who is still living inside of counterfeit choice #3--the only thing you can offer is reality. At least, if you are truly a friend.

    "Life doesn't work that way, friend. Here are the real choices: A. B. C. D.E.F."

    We live in the EFFECTS we have CAUSED.

    If we embrace a counterfeit reality, and our life is shitty--the shit is the result.

    Just because we don't like it, doesn't change it or our choices.

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