I only did the two week temp thing, but I still had to fill out a long application and send it back. One of the questions that stands out in my mind was something to the effect of: "Do you believe that the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses is God's sole spirit directed organization on earth?"
When I read that, I felt a strange sensation. Even though I had pioneered, I had no idea that that is how they viewed themselves. I didn't like seeing those words on the paper... It felt wrong.
I was not up to backing down at that point... too many people were expecting me to go.
I checked the "Yes" box next to the question. The act of checking that Yes box felt so wrong.
I viewed myself as having such a "balanced" view of biblical things. It wasn't until I saw that question that I started to realize, if only subconsciously, how unbalanced the organization is.
The entire time I was there I constantly felt exhausted. I would barely be able to get up in the morning, and would go to sleep as soon as I got back to my room. I would also sleep through the entire weekend, and any meetings that I managed to bring myself to attend.
On an up note, I can proudly say that I "defiled" the "house of god" on multiple occasions by doing something very naughty in my room.