I've never lived

by DanTheMan 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  jgnat

  Dan, I am very lucky that I had only one day in my 42 years when life did not seem worth living. I had little ones to take care of by then, and I stuck around for their sake. There is nothing like being in charge of a new life to make one hope again. You have not been around long enough to know if life is worthwhile or not. During my generation, I feared that we would be nuked by the russkies. Or by the US by mistake trying to stop the russkies. In the seventies, I didn't bother to get a driver's licence, because we all knew there would be no oil left by the eighties. I lived to see the Berlin Wall come down. I cried. Even though that wall was half a world away, it was a burden on my soul.

  I found out that the prophets of doom are often wrong. There is something beautiful about simple living. The network of friends and loved ones, watching flowers and children grow. Perhaps, Dan, if you did less living in your head (worrying about things) and more living outside (meeting people) you would find more meaning in life.
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  Navigator

  Dantheman

  You have already been given some excellent advice. I don't want to sound too metaphysical, but the things we focus on do tend to manifest in our lives. Remember the line from Job:"Lo, the very thing I feared has come upon me". Look for the good and praise it. Do some serious thinking about what you want to do with your life and then begin to do it, one small step at a time.
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  DanTheMan

  *listening to a little Allman Brothers on the stereo*

  Duane Allman, a guy who died young and yet lived fully while he was alive.

  I need a book or something about people who triumphed over adversity. I started reading "100 Years of Solitude" recently, but it got real sad and I had to stop. Any suggestions? Please, no Chicken Soup for the Soul or something corny like that.
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  DanTheMan

  Here's an example of my condition:

  I moved into my house last Spring. One of the reasons why I wanted a house of my own instead of continuing to live in an apartment was because I was tired of looking at white walls and beige carpet.

  Well, the people who lived here before me painted all the interior walls white before they put it up for sale. I've been wanting to paint the living room for over 7 months now, but I can't. Why? Because I can't decide what color to paint it!

  I am going to paint my fucking living room this weekend if it's the last thing I do! Purple with orange and yellow polka-dots if that's what I have to do to get it painted for chrisake.
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  jgnat

  On a certain day of the week, our Home Depot puts out discount paint that another homeowner has returned (It wasn't the exact shade of peach). Why not pick your colour off the shelf and go with that?

  Your desire to branch out and live a little is healthy. Sure, take a risk. Join a club. Venture out of your comfort zone.
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  lauralisa

  Hi broccoli hair, (awesome visual, btw)

  Life is 95% crapola, 39% sleeping, 24% feeling like shit, and 79% doing the same old day-to-day dork-wad routine that you never signed up for (!) nor feel like doing.

  .000000003948578% is magic.... and I don't mean the 'casting spells' kind of magic; it's a flash of something that happens like when you're listening to "Whipping Post" or "Blue Skies" or channel surfing and surprise ! Marlon Brando describing "horror" (uh, not a good example I guess, but IMHO Marlon Brando could read box of macaroni and cheese and it would be "magic")

  Or the few moments when you can't imagine being anywhere else in the entire universe than the place you are in at that precise moment because it is SO GOOD

  Usually, feeling loved has a whole lot to do with what I'm talking about.... I don't know if you have had to lose your family in your exodus from the borg or not, but if you have, finding 'new' family takes TIME... but it does and will happen... you just have to hang on and wait, okay?

  In the meantime, spew all you want and we will read it. One of my favorite 'feel better' books is "The Myth of Sanity" by Martha Stout, PhD... many survivor stories in this

  love, lauralisa
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  GentlyFeral

  Beck_Melbourne advised:

  3. Fear of poor urban blacks, a culture I don't understand that I live right in the middle of.
  Move to another neighbourhood if you feel seriously threatened. If not, take up a self defence course. Or, move to Australia

  Or, make friends with their mamas. You might find black women older than yourself easier to approach. Just be neighborly. Might want to read Geoffrey Canada's Fist Stick Knife Gun first, though.

  gently feral
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  onacruse

  dantheman: Fear is the mind killer.

  He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.
  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Beat the fear. Move on.

  Craig
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  DanTheMan

  it's a flash of something that happens like when you're listening to "Whipping Post" or "Blue Skies"

  LL, you're a lady after my own heart! Blue Skies was the song I was listening to last night when I posted.

  Thank you all for your comments. I'm feeling a little better this morning, I managed to get a few chunks of decent sleep last night.

  Sundays and Mondays are hell for me.
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  Nosferatu

  Never experienced being loved by a woman..... I can actually help you out there. There is a site that I visit quite frequently, and it has a great discussion forum that I take part in quite regularily. It's helped out my dating life incredibly. Go to www.sosuave.com - the discussion forum is temporarily down right now, but there's a lot of other things to read on there.

  BTW, my username on there is NOT Nosferatu - someone else is using that name. Hope this helps.