My husband went to the Assembly at the weekend. A few people asked about me, why didn't I go anymore? He lied and told them "I don't know"! He says, "why don't you ring her and ask her yourself". I don't know why he answers this way as he knows exactly why I don't go anymore. We have had so many discussions/arguments about this that it would be impossible for him not to know. He blatantly lied and at the Assembly.
My Husband Lies
by disillusioned 2 15 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
StarTrekAngel
Give him a break, I think he feels he is protecting you. I could be wrong, but my wife has actually done the same to shield me from getting a shepherding call. Unless off course you want them to know. -
dubstepped
Wow, what do you expect? You get to hide and he should have to answer for you? It isn't fair to expect him to do anything more than he did, which seems healthy to me. -
Oubliette
I like the "why don't you ring her and ask her yourself" part of his reply! -
blondie
I like the "why don't you ring her and ask her yourself" part of his reply!
-------------me too, I stopped going before my husband did and he was badgered by everyone...he knew they really didn't care. He only told each person once...after that he considered it abuse and told them so.
-
sir82
Yeah, if people really want to know, they should call you, not ask him! -
OneEyedJoe
Yeah, this is about what you ought to expect. He doesn't want to bear the brunt of the passive-aggressive nonsense that he knows he'll get if he gives a straight answer. He probably also realizes that if he tells them you're a full-blown apostate that you'll become the subject of a lot of gossiping and slander, not to mention the cruel practice of shunning. On some level, he may realize that you're right but is afraid to face it and knows that seeing you mistreated in this way will only prove you right.
It's a tough spot for both of you to be sure. Cut him some slack and have some patience and pity - he's just a human operating under the undue influence of a cult. I know first hand how difficult it is to separate a spouse's genuine personality from what they do and say in cult mode in your mind, but I think it helps to remember that they're trapped in a cult and therefore in just as bad a situation as you're in even if they don't realize it fully.
-
Vidiot
Untheocratic warfare. -
disillusioned 2
Haven't thought of him as being protective of me for a long time, but maybe he just didn't want to talk about it. I haven't been to meetings for years though and he seems to get the same questions every year. One was from my own sister who I have told that I don't believe it anymore and why. She never rings me and I think she has chosen to forget what I told her. I guess I'm just having a moan about him. He hardly ever speaks to me and when he does its with contempt. Today was the first time he has spoken to me since the assembly (4 days) and that was what he said, just before he went out to the meeting.
Nobody rang me to ask me why and I don't think they will as nobody has for years.
-
LisaRose
I vote for the " he doesn't want to have to bother to explain" theory. A man not speaking to his wife for four days is abusive. Just saying.