What is up w/my mom?

flower

I really hate jw hypocrisy. I love my mom but I am sick and tired of the hypocrisy from her and my family.

Last summer on August 10th a day before my sons 3rd birthday I recieved package from my JW family wrapped in cute gift paper. It was a cool race car play set. I confronted my mother about this on the phone afterwards and made a joke about them sending him a birthday present. She got somewhat indignant with me for implying that they would ever celebrate a brithday. Ok fine whatever.

So today I get a call from my mother and she wants to know where she should send a 'package' to us. I asked her what kind of package she would be sending us. She said just some things she happened to get for my son. WHATEVER!

Geez what is up with these people? I mean do they really think they are fooling anyone with their 'non' celebrating of holidays and birthdays? Do they really think they are fooling their God?

I just needed to vent. I miss my mom and it was kinda cool that she called. But this gets on my nerves. I mean they judge me because I openly celebrate things they deem wrong but they can do it without 'doing it' and thats ok.

flower

yesidid

Just shows to show you cant please everybody. I read in another post that someone thought their witness parents were heartless and cruel because they didn't give their grand-children Christmass and birthday presents. You think they are rotten hyprocrites because they do. It's true you cant win em all.

DakotaRed

Flower, although you may see it as hypocritial, and it is, be glad that she isn't shutting you completely out. Accept the gifts graciously and try not to confront her, She may be seeing how much the WT is denying her as a grandma.

If it all gets to you and you need to vent, feel free to vent to us. Who knows, by accepting them graciously, you just may have started the seed necessary for her to leave. But even if she doesn't and even if she claims she isn't, she is still joining in celebrating your sons birthday and Christmas. She can claim anything she wants to, she still is. Just be happy she hasn't decided to shut you completely out of her life. Just watch for subtle signs of indoctriniating your son, to be safe.

Lew W

Brummie

My sister always without fail never forgot my birthday or Christmas gift all the years I was a JW. I was a hypocrite cus I received them, though with a frown, every year.

Thumbs up to your mom for this hypocrisy, she wont have to regret not sending him gifts if she ever realises what a flake that religion is.

Brummie

Billygoat

I agree with Dakota. Keep accepting the gifts with happiness. Perhaps your excitedness of celebrating anything will help her realize what she's missing in her life - JOY! Be gracious with anything she gives you, no matter what her pretense is. YOU know it's a birthday gift and SHE knows it's a birthday gift. Why make an issue out of it when you're experiencing a Relationship. It's a good thing for you two to still have THAT! Too many people have completely lost touch with their loved ones.

Another thing...if your mother is living a life of hypocrisy it may be because she's experiencing an inner turmoil herself. She's being told to do one thing, but does the opposite because her heart tells her to. Following your heart - that's not necessarily bad, you know!

Andi

archangel01

Here is a Great Example

When a JW is at work and they get holiday pay, do they go up to the boss and say I don't celebrate x-mas etc so I do want this money..........OF COURSE NOT, They take it!!!!!!!! That is so full of SH*T.

Your B-day X-mas etc are not DON"T BE GOOD TO YOURSELF/YOUR KIDS ON THESE DAY"S type of deal. NO!!!!!

Here are some scriptures to shut them up (NWT bible)

Did you know JOB celebrated B-days etc, its true read JOB1:4,5

Special day aka Birthdays and if she brings up Pharaoh & Herod tell her those men were BAD ALL THE TIME not just on their b-days.Also did you know in the Genesis account Pharaoh also did some good by setting a men free....Joseph on his (I think) 18th B-day

Now for x-mas the whole santa thing is wrong it doesn't have nothing to do with Jesus and the x-mas star is wrong because that was satan guiding the wise men.But people today celebrate the birth of Jesus and the meaning of it etc true the bible doesn't give a date but who are we to judge. Its a special day for whoever and the bible does say YOU can hold ANY day special.... ROMANS14:5-6

Also read LUKE 2:13,14 The Angels celebrated the Birth of Jesus in heaven.True we don't know the day but who are we to judge. I mean you are showing you believe that Jesus was born an who can argue that. I mean you can pick any day out for that matter not just dec.25, an celebrate on that day because YOU hold that day special. I mean for example you can pick out and celebrate the birth of Jesus on OCT.2, because thats YOUR special day and who are we to judge.God said we can have special days and other people are not to judge...........just read the Scriptures an noone will judge you and that should put everyone in there damn place. If someone tells you otherwise, tell them the scripts an tell them to go home an do somemore bible reading now piss off please!

Edited by - archangel01 on 15 December 2002 3:50:6

Edited by - archangel01 on 15 December 2002 3:56:18

rebel

What I always found amusing is the amount of JWs I know that have a real Christmas feast on Christmas day. They go the whole hog - turkey, brussel sprouts, stuffing, Christmas pudding! When I asked one family once, they said "Well the shops are full of these things at the moment - it's all you can buy so we might as well - we are not celebrating Christmas though" ??????

But I agree with everyone else. Don't be angry with your Mum - she is doing her best - and at least she loves you and her granchildren enough to make her disregard some of her beliefs and get you pressies. I think it's nice of her. As someone has already mentioned, she may be on the brink of seeing the light herself, who knows?

onacruse

Like the others here have said...and my heart jumped when Billygoat said:

"if your mother is living a life of hypocrisy it may be because she's experiencing an inner turmoil herself. She's being told to do one thing, but does the opposite because her heart tells her to."

flower: Accept the love when you can get it, and leave at least a little love wherever you can.

Craig

Edited by - onacruse on 15 December 2002 6:46:7

Been there

Flower

I have to go with everyone else here. Seeing something as hypocritcal isn't easy to live with, I understand how you can see that. She loves her grandbaby and doesn't want her beliefs to deprive her of that. Encourage the relationship, she may find that losing that bond is stronger then the JW's. Everyone has thier price, and that might just be hers. Maybe it doesn't seem fair that she can except doing something for your son that she couldn't except from you.......but the door is open, let it stay that way. Just wink, smile and say "WHAT EVER". So your son gets NON-BIRTHDAY Birthday presents, or NON-CHRISTMAS Christmas presents. Be glad that your Mom finds your sons existance on this earth a precious as you do. I'm a Grandma, I was raised a witness so I know how they think and what they can do or can't. I think the Grandma is winning this battle in her head! But do (as Lew said) keep an eye out that she doesn't try to poison his mind. Put your foot down on that one, she may think that saving his life is the best gift she can give him, I don't think so though. Just my opinion

flower

I appreciate the replys and I understand what you all are saying. But I cant help it it makes me so angry when I think of all the years we suffered emotionally around the holidays with so much guilt for wanting to participate and all the severe depression some of us had to get through because of thinking HE hated us for having a piece of birthday cake at school or humming a christmas tune that was just too catchy to get out of my head. Every year I wished I was dead rather than face another holiday season. Every freakin season going to school or work or just driving down the road we had to have Christmas in our face. And to me looking in on the outside it was just like in the movies. Now I know its not really like that but then all I thought of was familys getting together, singing, presents, love, happiness, fun, fun, fun and all that good stuff that I would never experience.

I was never told it was OK to 'non' celebrate like my mother is doing. If I had known maybe I wouldnt have been so miserable. This is my first time in my life that I am not miserable during the winter months. I dont want her ruining it by being nice to me. lol..just kidding.

I guess for now I can accept this psuedo relationship with her..she calls me for funerals and holidays. woohoo.

flower

What is up w/my mom?

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