Bethelites are Jerks! Your Comments?
I've posted here a few times but, as you can see by my profile (at left) I am a newbie.
I have mentioned in speaking to a few of the other posters here that I was in Bethel in the late '60s and early 70's.
In my time there, the majority of us were just kids. I entered when I was just 17 or so. Bethel "service" was presented to me as "the closest thing on earth to going to Heaven." We had to pioneer first. I was so happy to get out of pioneering that going to Bethel did, indeed, seem like being invited to Heaven. I was very young, very impressionable, and figured that getting out of pioneering and out of the local congregation was so cool.
I was so impressed with going to Bethel and the implications of doing "God's Work" that I didn't even take a radio with me. I was leaving the world behind. I was associated with 2 congregations. My parent's cong. (they were English speakers), and my cong., which was Spanish speaking. Long story short, I was raised Hispanic because of where I lived. My associates were almost all Mexican-American and I was pretty much thoroughly assimilated into the culture of my barrio. Plus, my background is partially Latino (Irish, French, and Spanish).
Anyway, the emphasis placed on Bethel service was such that going to Bethel really made one a "marketable" commodity. One of the sisters in my parent's cong. tried for years entice me into contracting to marry her daughter (who at the time was 11 or 12 years old). She was deadly serious. This girl was in no way attractive either physically or personality-wise. She looked like an old illustration in the "Babylon" book of a sheep that had sort of a beak like a vulture and (she) had the personality of her mother -- yuck!
I knew I had made a mistake in going to Bethel within the first 2 weeks of arriving. I was treated badly from the first day I arrived. The "spiritual" brothers already there were sullen and mean. But, I had always been raised to finish what I began. So I stuck out my 4 years. My career there was less than sterling but I was hardheaded about living up to my word.
My years there were miserable. I really hated every minute of the time I spent in Bethel and New York did not thrill me. I had to be there but was not allowed to enjoy any of the good things the city offered. Later, toward the end of my stay there, I did go out whenever I could and would drink and carouse with (most) of the other young "brothers". Other than the drinking, I did try to be a "good boy". I found out later that some, if not many of my peers were not only drinking but also fornicating and using drugs. I did not. In my twisted reasoning, I drew certain lines.
Moreover, drinking was an institutionalized activity. EVERYONE did it. I was called into Max Larson's office (the factory overseer at the time) after being caught drunk by another "brother" one time. He asked me how much I drank. I told him "about 2 quarts of beer a night like all of the other Bethelites my age." He called me a liar. I wasn't lying.
The pressures they put on us were tremendous. We had to listen to Knorr ramble on for sometimes 2 hours before we could eat breakfast. We had to work until late in the afternoons. We had to attend congregations that were sometimes almost an hour away from Bethel. Then return (often through dangerous neighborhoods) and try to get enough sleep to get up and do it all again.
It was quite a load for a kid. We were treated by the overseers like scum unless we were from a "good" family (translate: a family with money that contributed heavily to the Society). I saw various exceptions made for guys with the "right" connections.
The servants in the congregations we attended expected us to be spiritual giants. We weren't.
On top of all that, we had to attend the English only congregation in Bethel for, I believe, the first 6 months. It was a little difficult for those of us who had received all of our training in another language. At the end of the 6 months we were usually shipped out to other New York City congs. Fortunately (?) I was transferred to a local Spanish language cong. in Brooklyn.
There, I met a girl. A lovely young thing from Puerto Rico. We hit it off. But, I was determined to be "theocratic" and maintain my integrity until I finished my Bethel service as I had been instructed (brow-beaten). So, I spent time with her (innocent and clean) and planned on asking her to marry me toward the end of my Bethel service. But, I didn't say anything to her. Didn't want to get drug out of my Bethel service early!
Well, they assigned another "brother" to my cong. from Bethel. I was told to take him and to make him feel welcome. I did mention that no one had done this for me. That was of course a mark against me.
He was a short, fat, nerdy kid from Cuba. My girlfriend's sister asked me once if he was gay. I said "Of course not! He is in Bethel!" What an idiot (me). After a couple of months he said that since I was doing nothing about my girlfriend did I care if he made a play for her? I looked at him, smiled and said, "Who cares?"
I mean, his appearance and lack of any personality were to me pathetic. I was over-confident. In 2 months they announced their engagement. The little jerk left Bethel early to marry her. And here I was trying to do the right thing. Remember, I was young and had no experience.
I got along very well with the family of my girlfriend. So, just before the wedding, I asked her mom, "what just happened?" Know what she told me? She said that my girlfriend still loved me but that she didn't feel like she was good enough for me.
There are so many things I would do differently. But, looking at it in context, I was really naive.
The Bethelites are just people. There are good ones and bad ones. The rank and file witnesses put so much value (or did) on them that they can't possibly live up to everyone's expectations.
A lot of them were players. But I suspect that the "players" were players before they arrived in Bethel.
Bethelites are really not special. A lot of them are jerks. A lot of them are nice people. However, we have to view things in context. They are at least as mislead as the average JW. And, I know that many drop out during or after their Bethel time. It is hard to see the bs up front and personal and not get a clue.
The biggest complaint seems to be the lack of love shown at the headquarters. If it is not there, how can it exist in the congs?
Speaking of love and money, they say that they are the cleanest organization on earth. Well, it's all hype. Just one example. I always had a hard time understanding the Leo Greenlees thing. I asked myself how is it that someone so obviously gay could be in Bethel, let alone have a (from my perspective) high position in the Service Dept. I also wondered how was it that when once Fred Franz invited me up to his room for a glass of wine, his roommate (or nurse) went into such a tizzy? The guy was just a little (a lot) prissy and wanted me OUT and FAST!
Well, when I was wrapping up my "career" there there was this guy who lived in Brooklyn Heights (the neighborhood where Bethel is located). He was wildly gay. Brooklyn Heights was at that time sort of a mecca for gays. He used to have groups of young male Bethelites over to his apartment for parties (booze, and who knows what else?) I met him once at a Bethelite party in Bethel. Anyway, when I returned to Bethel in 1973 to "spring" my best friend from there, I found out that this guy was not only still around but also that he was now a Bethelite himself!
Remember the ambiance here. This is Jehovah's "clean organization" and homosexuality is a big no-no. But, here he was, fat happy and in beehive of young men. Another thing that sort of makes you go hmmm.
This was, strangely, during a period of another witch-hunt by Knorr and Co. for homosexuals. For at least a 2 or 3-year period, they were searching out and expelling anyone they could for being gay. Some, justifiably so, others just out of spite.
To sum up, BROTHERRRS (poking a little fun at Freddy (Franz)), this has been a long post. I don't know if there is a lot of interest in the day-to-day of being a Bethelite. If there is, I will try to post a few more experiences. I would love to hear form other ex-bethelites on what their lives were like. I would be thrilled to know what those of you who were not Bethelites think. How did you/do you perceive these "spiritual paragons" in Bethel?
Marcos