Pass the red wine for me

by wasasister 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • wasasister

    Tonight, I would have attended the Memorial, if my Witness daughter had asked me to go. During the two previous yearly occasions, I was inactive, but I went with her because it seemed to mean a great deal to her. She has either given up on me, or the event does not mean what it once did to her.

    I was thinking about another memorial, one I would rather celebrate. My mother would have been 90 today. She was a loyal Jehovah’s Witness to her dying day, in fact the month in which she died, my sister turned in Mom’s final field service report to the congregation. Although I realize many of us forget the faults of dead loved ones, I truly cannot think of anything really bad to say about the woman. She was genuine, kind, funny, honest, intelligent, and had a way of looking right through phony behavior. I think her belief in the teachings of the Watchtower were based on her sincere research into the Scriptures and some of the basic truths she found in the Organization in the early 60’s. I think those were some of the better years among JW’s; before the time of the apostasy paranoia.

    She touched many lives, beyond my brother, sister and I, and our children. Her death was mourned by literally hundreds. If I turn out to be half the parent she was, I’ll consider myself fortunate.

    However, I find myself wondering how she would have handled recent events. Would it be difficult for her to see her youngest daughter divorce her Witness husband and stop attending meetings? Would she have stood idly by while several elders systematically tormented and finally removed her other son-in-law? Would it have hurt her to see that now none of her children attend a Kingdom Hall? Would the constant changes in “new light” have caused her “phony radar” to go off? Would her vast knowledge of the Scriptures eventually have caused her Cognitive Dissonance?

    I’ll be honest: my mother was a far more influential teacher to me than “The Great Teacher” I once read to my children about. Her words and example are more inspiring than any ancient figure who may, or may not, be quoted correctly in sacred writings. (I grew up with this woman and spent a great deal of time with her – yet I doubt that my sister, brother, and I could recall and agree on her exact words during various events in her life. It makes me question how some men who knew Jesus for only a few years and then wrote about him several years after his death could be any more accurate.)

    I think I’ll lift a glass of wine to her memory this evening. It was not her favorite beverage. Although she rarely drank, she would shyly accept a cold glass of beer with her fish and chips if she though no one was looking on. But red wine it will be tonight for a woman who deserves to be remembered.

    If it turns out there is an afterlife, she’ll be there. I can’t think of anybody more deserving of a resurrection. If so, I hope she understands why I am not on my way to the meeting right now. I hope she knows it is because of what she taught me, not in spite of it.

    Regards to all,

  • dedalus


    A touching tribute to you mother; thanks for posting it. It's difficult to understand how any compassionate person (or God) could possibly take issue with what you wrote.


  • Esmeralda

    That was beautiful, Wasasister. No mother could ask for a more loving rememberance.

    *raising my glass* To Moms like yours, who touch their children in life, and even after.


  • Gopher


    Thank you for sharing your mother's memory. How moving! We should all be so fortunate to have such a wonderful example in life.

    Please take an extra "sip" for all of us!


  • CPiolo


    I write this after dropping my wife off at her Memorial service. What you wrote touches me more than any religious service I've been to. Your mother sounds like a wonderful lady. I'll bet quite a bit of that she passed along to you.

    Thanks for sharing. I'll raise a glass to your mom as well.

    Peace, joy and blessings,


  • eyes_opened

    That is so sweet wasa!! I had tears in my eyes reading about the love you have for your mom. She sounds like she was indeed a beautiful person. Thanks for sharing that with us.


  • Tina

    (((((((((((sis)))))))))))) clinking glasses with you to Mom!! She must have been a wonderful teacher,because look at the daughter she raised!1 Hip Hip to Mom!! luv,Tina

  • Prisca

    Thanks Wasa for a great post!

    I can really relate to your words - my mum died 20 years ago this June. I wish I had the chance to really get to know her - I was only 11 when she died after many years of illness. Yet she was greatly respected by all of those who knew and loved her. I hope that she, and the other wonderful women in my family who have died get some reward for their outstanding examples as loving and caring beings.

  • outnfree

    Beautiful tribute, wasasister!

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Dear Was,
    I too have a lump in my throat. I know your mother is with us in some form. And she is rejoicing in her heart of hearts, knowing that she influenced so many, not the least of which is yourself.
    You must have been a wonderful daughter to her.

Share this