Who is the poster with the nicest vests?

by FrankyFourVests 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  FrankyFourVests

  Now, I titled this thread the "nicest" vests because we all know I have the most vests. Do we have any other vest enthusiasts in the crowd? Show off yoru snazziest vests. here are descriptions of my 4 finest.

  4'th layer - This vest is the least "nice" vest but is dear to my heart for sentimental reasons. Given to me by my last survivng grandpa on his death bed, "GrandpaOnelastVest" it has always been the closest to my heart.. and my skin.

  3'rd layer - The One Vest. I won this vest ina riddle contest with a strange creature I found in my backyard. Hissing and cackling at me for the better part of an hour, I finally won by asking him, What's in my vest's pocket. He was furious, but bound to give me the vest, and only later did I discover it held magical properties.

  2'nd layer - The Vest of Golden Fleece - This vest ws also acquired under peculiar circumstances. Bought from an old Greek sailor on the Danforth in Toronto, the old man screamed and raved when he saw me approaching. Coming from a pick up baseball game with my trusty baseball bat in myhand, and an eyepatch covering one eye from an unfortunate donut accident the night before, he screamed something about a something-ops and threw the vest at me. It was a fine addition to my vesty fleet.

  First layer - My most prized vest. Given to me by my adoring father, my Technicolour Dream Vest has been a source of much bitter resentment by my siblings. Once in a rage they even faked my own death and attempted to claim my life insurance policy, but their plan was foiled when they tried to collect the money from the Egyptian insurance Agent...whom I had been working for in mys pare time.

  Thats all for me folks. Any vest stories from the faithful?

  Edited by - FrankyFourVests on 13 December 2002 0:20:42
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  joannadandy

  I once crocheted a vest out of cat hair.
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  Solace

  Why, the one with four of course!

  Welcome back Frankie...
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  Brumm

  <---sitting here with a bald patch...brrrr its cold

  You beat me hands down Franky! I dont EVER wear a vest not even a cat one.
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  minimus

  Frankie, you bastard! Stop stealing my fine ideas.
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  ring

  I lost my nicest vest when i wagered it in a game of golf

  i still have the matching checkered pants though
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  LyinEyes

  I once owned a fine vest. It was made out of white mans scalp,,,,,,,, as you know my family are crazy indians who love to scalp people . It was not their fault they were really expected to do this and learned to do it , without killing anyone in the later years. If you saw a white man walking down the street bald , you might suspect my family had something to do with it.

  My vest was woven of these nice scalps, sown together with love from my grandmother.With each patch of scalp she told a story of family life and how we shall one day overcome again.................we shall have our land back.

  Well we never did get any of our land back, and in fact I owed the IRS a great deal of money. They wanted to be paid and since I had no land to barter with them....... they seized my scalp vest and I hear it is on display at the IRS , in Memphis Tenn. I just can't bring myself to see it again.

  So I guess anyone who still has their vest , has the finest vest.........it isnt me....

  ( God I am so retarded today)
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  Big Tex

  I guess you're vested.
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  Vivamus

  When seen singly, my vests aren't so special. All were given to me by fine lady's. One of my vests was my grandma's, a fine woolen orange one. This one is my favorite, just because it was my grandma's. When you look at my vests one at a time, there nothing special to them, there beautiful, but not special. But put all my vests together, and a clash of colors appears. Pretty colors are just flying across the room, its truly magical. Red, orange, green, purple... The list goes on and on. Whirlwinds of colors appear and its quite a wonderful enchanting sight to see. When little children come visit here with their parents, they always sneak upstairs, and throw al the vest together so they can see that whirlwind of colors, it keeps kids busy for hours. Grownups however find it a bit scary, inevitably, they start whimpering "make the pretty colors stop flying please". *Sigh*, grownups just don't feel the wonders of magic as little children do anymore. The world is becoming scared of magic, so sad....
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  searcher

  The terrible story of the vest and consequences thereof!

  I used to have a beautiful vest, it went with me everywhere, more like a friend than a piece of clothing, then, one stormy night my vest was stolen and destroyed by Religious Fundamentalists who objected to the bright colours.

  I was inconsolable, for months I roamed the dark stormy countryside wailing and gnashing my teeth in mourning for my lost vest.

  Unknown to me, while I was in this state of depression, I was becoming two people, one, a happy go lucky likeable chap, and the other, a dark foreboding unhappy spirit that lived in the furthest reaches of my normally happy mind.!!!

  I first realised that I was not all I seemed to be when a spate of vest baiting occurred in my local area. Assigned by the overburdened police to track down the vest monster, I soon tracked the beast to..me!!!

  What was I to do? Here I was an extremely likeable chap, with a dark secret! Inside me was a vest demon who sneaked out when I was not strong and

  DID HORRIBLE THINGS TO VESTS.

  How could I live with the shame of what was happening?

  How could I protect vests from the demon?

  How could I get the most money from the papers for my story?

  I decided to see TWO psychiatrists, but after a while (1 year) I began to suspect that all was not well with the psychiatric duo!

  Why did they both have the same name?

  Why did they both share the same office?

  I began to suspect that the psychiatrists were not all they seemed. So I approached the navy that is the place that tells the time with bells, they shake their wrists, making a merry tinkling noise, and cry its 6 oclock bells

  Working my way through all the armed forces produced no help, so I am left to carry my terrible burden alone.

  People please, I beg of you! Protect your vests! Do not let this monster make your life an empty misery by depriving you of your cherished possession!

  Friends, I urge you today, join Protect Random Onesided Vest Events In Time.

  OrPROVE IT

  Searcher.