JWS NOT FREE TO FALL IN LOVE

heyfea

YOU KNOW HOW THE SOCIETY PUSHES EVERY ONE TO DO MORE, AND MORE, AND MORE....AND THOSE WHO DON'T DO MORE WITHOUT A SUPER VALID REASON (LIKE YOU'RE IN A COMA), ARE CONSIDERED NOT "SPIRITUAL", RIGHT? OK, THEY ALSO TELL SINGLE BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO ARE PIONEERS OR BETHELITES THAT THEY SHOULD ONLY CONSIDER MARRYING THOSE WITH THE SAME SPIRITUAL GOALS....IN OTHER WORDS....CHOOSE SOME ONE WHO "LOVES" JEHOVAH JUST AS MUCH, MEANING ONE WHO PREACHES 120 HOURS A MONTH OR WORKS IN BETHEL,ETC.....RIGHT? ....WELL I THINK IT IS SO UNFAIR.

IT'S ALREADY BAD ENOUGH THAT WE CANNOT LOOK AT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WITNESSES (NEVER MIND THAT THEY ARE EXCELLENT HUMAN BEINGS, ONES THAT WOULD ASHAME MANY JWS)....WE ALSO HAVE TO KEEP FROM FALLING IN LOVE WITH A PIONEER OR BETHELITE (IF YOU ARE NOT ONE, BECAUSE HE OR SHE WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY) OR FROM FALLING IN LOVE WITH A MERE PUBLISHER ( IF YOU ARE A PIONEER , BECAUSE THE ELDERS WILL SUGGEST TO LET IT GO, AND THEY WILL TRY AND TRY UNTIL YOU GIVE IT UP)( I'VE WITNESSED A HUGE CASE...THAT ENDED IN A BETHELITE AND A PIONEER DYING, LITTERALLY) ISN'T THAT APPALING? I THINK SO.

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 15 YEARS AND EVEN THOUGH I TRULY LOVE MY HUSBAND, I CANNOT STOP TO THINK THAT I WAS CHEATED OUT OF LOVE.

I WAS ONLY A PUBLISHER AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS BETHELITE. NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE DID NOT LOOK AT ME. BACK THEN I WAS ONLY 18 YEARS OLD (I WAS KIND OF NERDY, BUT CUTE), AND HE WAS 23. AFTER A FEW YEARS IN MY CONGREGATION, HE LEFT TO KANSAS TO MARRY THIS OVERWEIGHT GIRL (WHO WAS A REGULAR PIONEER). I THOUGHT, HE REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HER. HE ONLY SAW HER A COUPLE OF TIMES AND TOOK HER ELDERS WORD FOR IT THAT SHE WOULD BE A GOOD WIFE. HOW FREAKING STUPID.

IF HE ONLY SAW ME NOW....HE WOULD EAT HIS HEART OUT BECAUSE NOT ONLY AM I A KNOCKOUT, I AM ALSO A GREAT MOM, WIFE AND COOK, WORK FULL TIME AND MAKE A LOT MORE MONEY THAN MANY OF JW'S WILL EVER MAKE WITH THEIR STUPID PART TIME JOBS.

HAS ANY ONE NOTICED OR EXPERIENCED A SIMILAR SITUATION?

(I'M NO LONGER IN THE "TRUTH")

LOVE

cruzanheart

Welcome to the board! You should get a lot of responses to your post. I married a fellow pioneer and MS almost 20 years ago, and when we started dating he got a lot of flak from his congregation. I think they looked on him as some sort of virgin sacrifice. As for me, I was 25 when we met (he was 19 and REALLY cute) so my congregation was cheering me on. The general feeling was "FINALLY she caught a guy!" This is, after all, Texas, firmly entrenched in the Scarlett O'Hara frame of mind.

Believe me, you're better off without that Bethelite. I visited Bethel a few times because I had friends there, and I remember one young man who was walking through the tunnel where I was so I struck up a conversation. He answered shortly and walked faster. So did I and kept talking (sorry, I'm the friendly sort and I was bored). Finally he stopped and said, "Look, I can't talk to you because my friends will think you're interested in me, so please stop talking to me." Now, we're not talking Brad Pitt material here. I told him that he was seriously mistaken and had a much higher opinion of himself than I did and I apologized for being nice and told him it wouldn't happen again. Weird place. He probably ended up with a Stepford wife.

So give your husband of 15 years a huge hug and kiss and be grateful you have someone who appreciates you for what you are and not as a status symbol or doormat. I lucked out with my guy - he left the organization 14 years ago and I just made the break a few months ago, but he is wonderful: endlessly patient and kind, very smart, and a terrific father and husband. Wouldn't trade him for a building full of Bethelites (even if they did look like Brad Pitt).

Lots of love,

Nina

Skeptically Yours

Heyfea,

In my not-so humble opinion, Bethelites are just arrogant pompous jerks. I just do my part in not giving anyone special treatment just because of the title acquired in the organization.

When the circuit overseer, or anyone with a 'title', visits the congregation and I see brothers and sisters just throwing themselves at them as if they're some sort of a closer connection to God, I find it appaling and have never gone out of my way to pay attention to any pompous person inside.

Remember one occassion recently when I got assigned to preach with the circuit overseer and his wife, and I just gracefully declined saying that I already had arrangements and had just attended in a show support to the group. You should've seen some expressions! That I dared turn down a service invitation from the circuit overseer?!!!!!!!!! It was lovely, really.

Take care!

refiners fire

..."Finally he stopped and said, "Look, I can't talk to you because my friends will think you're interested in me, so please stop talking to me."....

priceless.

Cicatrix

Yep. My daughter, a lowly publisher, fell in love with a pioneer (and he with her).Not being the sort to sneak around,they announced their intention to be together when they were old enough. But it seems his mother already had someone from a pioneering family picked out for him, never mind the fact that the girl was twelve and he was twenty-one ( I guess he just has to wait for her to grow up lol)! Add to that an offer from another brother who told him he'd bankroll a business for this guy if he stayed single and pioneered,and tada--break-up city.The sad part is, the dubs weren't happy about just coming between my daughter and the guy. Certain people also spread rumors about my daughter's morality, to make damn good and sure they never got together, I guess.Not that I mind. The guy was twenty-one with the maturity level of a twelve year-old. My daughter is married to a very nice "worldly" guy now, who is very responsible and treats her like a queen instead of a doormat.The poor guy still asks about my daughter through the grapevine.

Pretty much in our old cong, the same rule was applied to association. You only associated with those "beneath" you to encourage them, but you never developed a real friendship with them.

heyfea

CRUZNHEART AND SKEPTICALLY YOURS,

YOUR ARE SO RIGHT!

I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT A BETHELITE.

AND YES, IT IS TRUE, ALL THESE "SPIRITUAL" CLASS DO THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN THE REST. AND WHAT THAT BETHELITE DID TO YOU, SKEPTICALLY YOURS, IS VERY RUDE. THE MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD WOULD HAVE CARRIED ON A CONVERSATION WITH YOU ANY DAY, ALL DAY LONG IF POSSIBLE.....YOU KNOW THAT SAYING? BOYS WILL BE BOYS ? THAT'S THE WAY GUYS ARE. BUT NOT THESE JWS.

ApagaLaLuz

many of JW marriages are unofficially arranged. Mine was. They are all so very close knit that many parents already have partners picked out for their kids before the come of age.

And if you are of age and not married, any time you talk to a single person of the opposite sex, it spreads like wild fire.

I had a very good friend when I was a JW who was a guy. We were close, but like brother and sister, not boyfriend and girlfriend. My parents thought it was "innapproriate" that he call the house for me. I was 18, he was 17. Then one day, while I was going to college, my car broke down and he gave me a ride to school. The following meeting the elders talked to me in the back about being alone with him in his car.

I've learned now to stay out of people's reletionships. And certainly not to push young ones in to something they may not really want. (like me)

heyfea

WHAT ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR SUGGESTS IS THAT A LOT OF JW'S DO NOT BELIEVE THAT ALL JW'S ARE GOING TO ENTER INTO THE NEW SYSTEM, OR AT LEAST WILL NOT HAVE THE SAME "PRIVILEDGES" ONCE IN PARADISE....OTHERWISE IT WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THEM WHO MARRIES WHO AS LONG AS IS WITHIN THE ORG. RIGHT?

Big Tex

(I'M NO LONGER IN THE "TRUTH")

The best part of your story. You made it out. Maybe there is a God after all, eh? Besides the only thing in Kansas is wheat. Would you really want to live there with an egotistical pig-headed dumbed bozo? Didn't think so. Oh, almost forgot:

HOWDY AND WELCOME!!!

Dia

Again, starts to look like their real 'value' is in population control.

JWS NOT FREE TO FALL IN LOVE

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