Its a tough go. I was/am in a similar situation with my family. Over the years, since I am a thinker and a not to bad student, I slowly came to the conclusion that there was something rotten in Denmark with regard to the Societys teachings.
I became more and more agitated until I sneaked to the library to read CofC. WOW, what an eye opener. I didnt have much time to read in the library, so I wrote down the address and mailed for the book. I couldnt have it sent to the house, for if my wife had found out, it would have been asltalawego for our marriage. SO, I went out and got a post box. Over time, I got lots of books and read them all secretly at work. These books, along with my personal study brought me up to speed. I had found the answers to my questions.
But! I had to keep it secret. I didnt like that, but I was between a rock and a hard place. I could tell my wife, but I knew her well enough to know that I would be in the doghouse forever if I did. I wasnt about to miss seeing my son to bed at night etc(family activities) What to do, what to do.
I read a few posts from Amazing and he talked about how to affect your family for the good and help pry open closed eyes. It wasnt perfect, but it did help. I realized early that you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him/her drink.
The person has to want to see it. So, my objective was clear. My wife is a practical person, and she has a great love for our son, so this is where her powers of thinking had to develop.
Now remember, she was very organizational. For example, one night, she interrogated me with regard to how I felt for the governing body. It was difficult to play the middle of the road and NOT say what I really felt about those old men, based on what I knew of their deviant behavior. And there were many other long nights where she was very angry. Not because I told her anything, only because she suspected that I was not totally devoted to them as was she.
There was little I could do, but pray. And of course drop a few words time and again, at the right time. For instance, one night I asked her When did Jesus start to reign? She answered as you would think, 1914. Then I asked How long is Jesus reign? TO which she said 1000 years. Then I stated, in a low voice, Then theres only 900 years left.
From this she drew a sharp burst, as if I had touched an open wound with a salty finger. I expected this response, but it made her think. Also, when it came to the blood doctrine, she had a lot of questions. Remember, we have a child. She is sensitive to that.
So, I gave her information only enough to make her doubt further. I left her on her own to make a mental decision on this issue. Well, of course she could not. It is impossible for a person, once they have begun to think, to take the Societys self contradictory doctrine and make heads or tails out of it. Most JWs just put it out of their mind hoping that I wont happen to me, so I need not worry about it.
But my wife could not do that. She was in the have to know state of mind. So, I gently helped her see what she needed to see, a little at a time like bringing a person out of a dark cave after a lifetime in the dark.
The topper I think was the UN issue. I had researched it thoroughly. I knew what I was talking about as I had called Paul Hoeffel at the UN myself and begged him a half an hour to make a letter and send it to another helper. This helper worked hard. I got a scan. I had the rest.
I then dropped a hint of the ordeal to my wife. The rest is history.
She is sitting beside me as I write this. She actually wanted me to respond to your post.
This took me about 5 years from start to finish. And I am not out of the woods yet. We still go to the hall as if nothing is happening. Its tough, but we do it for the sake of aging parents who would die if we left.
Service, we fake it. Meeting, we get through them. Assemblies, we do what we can.
I think we can all agree of the destructive effect this organization can have. In your case, since you have already come out, I dont know what to tell you other than what I did. I prayed often, and I did what I could to slip in a few facts that I knew would disturb her. Like throwing a monkey wrench in the WTS works.
What goes in to the mind is IN. It stays there and it works over time. Add to it slowly.
Tell her that you want her to help you understand the 607, 1914 stuff. Its very easy to cause a traffic jam in her brain using only the Insight volumes. I can show you how. Its a snap. A few questions later and she will be awake all night thinking of it. Its a start.
In any case, I hope you can keep it together and work it out.