I now hate being called 'sister'

by purrpurr 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • purrpurr

    Since waking up I find I am bridling at being called 'sister'. I don't know why. But it feels like an identity that is being forced on me.

    I feel like shouting "I have a name you know!"

    It is just me or does anyone else recognise this?

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Well I must admit I never really liked being referred to as " brother" and I am even less pleased with currently being referred to as " an apostate". So much for the " brotherly" love.

    The Rebel.

  • Bruja-del-Sol

    I've got the same feeling purrpurr... I've been out for over a decade, but if anybody calls me 'sister' (except for my real flesh and blood brother and sister) I instantly tell them "I'm not your sister!"

    Now that I'm thinking of it, the JWs calling each other 'brother' and 'sister' doesn't make them feel closer to each other. More like the contrary. And it takes away a part of your identity when people don't call you by your first name. Probably that's the whole idea behind it? But that's just a thought that got to me just now...

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    Since waking up I find I am bridling at being called 'sister

    especially by your husband--------

  • tiki

    Doesn't bother me....I use it endearingly to female friends. It never bugged me...in fact it is kinda better than Mrs, miss,or mister. At least marital status isn't part of the equation. I always use Ms for all females in formal

    address. If all men are mister why do women have to be differentiated by single or married. Just a vestige of old patriarchal systems. So sister....luv ya!!

  • Heaven

    I prefer the term Sista. It's more gangsta soundin' and all.

  • millie210

    I have come to believe it is part of that "high control religion" thing.

    Many JWs love being one because of the inherent family/friends/belonging that they see on the surface.

    The underlying fissures become evident if you are ever in a moment where the rancor of an individual peeps through...

    then you will hear things like "well excuuusse me, brother"

    Or a brother telling a sister as a subtle put down

    "well you see, sister"

    both are said with sarcasm and to remind you of your place within the arrangement.

    yawn, whatever

    these people are so boringly ridiculous.

  • OrphanCrow

    I abhor the way that the JWs use the terms "brother" and "sister".

    Especially "sister" - I have one sister and the JWs ruined any chance of having a relationship with her except on their terms. The JW religion ruined my sister - she was once a beautiful, vivacious young woman and now she is an aging, bitter, mentally and physically sick woman. I used to get so upset when she would be nasty to me but then speak in glowing terms of "Sister so and so", a woman she hardly knew...I was her sister and she didn't treat me like one. She chose strangers for sisters and kicked me to the curb just because I wasn't a JW anymore.

    I especially hate the way that JWs make the distinction of how to tell if you are tallking about a biological connection instead of an artifical one - "fleshly" sister. Geez...what the hell is that? Fleshly? It sounds so creepy...sort of sexualized. Maybe that is their way of sexualizing the 'real' family connection so that they have a way of distinguishing between a "sister" and a, well..."sister" - so they know who can marry the "brother" instead of the....other "brother"...you know.

    Frankly, I find the sister and brother terms that are used by the JWs to be incestuous. It is sort of sick, in a way..."sisters, keep your eye on the brothers to see which brother you want to marry!" Or, "sister so and so is marrying brother so and so".

    Shouldn't JW kids be calling their parents auntie and uncle instead of mom and dad?? Do JW married couples find it strange to be called "Brother and Sister Jones" at the KH and then go home and sleep together after the meeting is over?

  • LisaRose

    I do think using those terms is a part of the mind control. It is cult 101 to set yourself apart from other groups using different names for things is one way to do that. Everyone talks about "love bombing" and having people refer to each other as sister and brother is a way of making people feel like they are part of an instant family. It is also a way of distancing you from you real family ( ugh, "feshly" sisters and brothers, I always hated that term too). Of course it's an illusion, because if you step out of line, or disagree with your new "family" you will find out how loving they really are, which is to say not at all.

    I also believe using the term "sister" is a way to emphasize the lowly status of women in the organization and it is used in a way that reinforces the stereotype of women as being less intelligent, less capable and less important.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    My bro is OK. This is the WT study conductor calling on a member from the

    audience, "my bro sitting in the back". That sound cool.

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