I know the bible is poo-poo because:
1. It is infathomable, much like the actions of Winona Ryder.
2. The Word of Dog is the source of true stupidity. It is the most assanine book ever written.
3. It's prophecies always change interpretation.
4. It's fulfilled promises have always been exaggerated.
5. It alienates every type of person. It can even make you want to dash infants heads upon rocks if God tells you so.
6. Simulate the bible? Why?
7. It changes your life. It brings you into the control of men who want the contents of your pocketbook.
8. It offers deadly judgement unless there is complete servitude. Plain and simple.
9. It speaks to one's ulcer.
10. It offers good ways to kill family members, members of opposing nations, ways to bigot, ways to conquer kingdoms, ways to lose your life, ways to lose your mind, money, home, and faith in human decency.
11. It is a historical drama, exaggerated and exhonorated, some use it for bad, some for good. But it is not divine.
"I know that the Bible is poo-poo. Just read it from cover to cover." -ash