To be perfectly honest, the no vasectomy ruling seems pretty much like the don't-neuter-your-male-dog-macho syndrome.
Qualified to be elders?
The vasectomy thing is kind of strange. I did some research on the matter and thought it was a no no, that was 6 years ago. My brother in law is the P.O. and he had one about 13 years ago, and his wife told my wife there was nothing wrong with it! Go figure. I think it was because his wife wanted no more kids after having two in here first marriage and then 2 more in her mid thirties. She don't like kids very much anyway.
I just thought it was strange that he went ahead and did it when he was an elder, later becoming the P.O. and now tells others they can't have privledges if they get one.
More of that good old double standard I guess.
What is the solution to the problem? It is for the poor old Witnesses to wake up and realize that by putting your trust in elders, you are putting your lives and happiness at risk. They are the black shirts (the SS) putting the orders of the (Nazi) High Command into practice. They are following orders and so if anything goes wrong they would adopt the Nuremburg defence. They are selected for their narrow-minded black and white devotion to the rule of the WBTS. They are generally ignorant and narrow-minded. Friend - a clear apologist - suggests they are well-meaning - that may be the case but their point of reference is so narrow (carry out the orders of an organization that uses fear, guilt and shame to manipulate the membership using the BITE technique to be totally subservient) that it is inevitable they will cause harm. I have mentioned this before but it is worth repeating. My sister-in-law committed suicide because of the intervention of elders who threatened her withbeing df'd if she didn't return to her new husband and his family who she had fled. My brain-washed wife excused this as them trying to save her.
It's been said that the path to hell is paved with good intentions. So even the ones who are humble and know when they're out of their depth are part of the apparatus of oppression.
And the ones who don't, which is most of them: well Frazzled, similar to your story, a friend of mine was being beaten black and blue by her sociopath husband (a non Jw for the record) and went to the elders for help. She went to them rather than the police because 30 years of Jw conditioning told her to trust these men because they had holy spirit so could help her. Well, having no clue about domestic violence and the men who do it, they told her to go back to him and be more submissive. I don't know how a mother can be submissive when her son is being smashed and kicked and starved. Anyway she stayed with him and he broke her spine. She's now a cripple living for years in constant agony. She ended up leaving of course but the damage was done. She'd be dead if she hadn't sinned by leaving him. That's what untrained, ignorant advice from people who think they're appointed by god gets you.