In this day and age, we often forget that not everyone grew up with technology, so here to help bridge the gap, I present "Technology for Country Folk" Now I wish I could take credit for coming up with this, but it came to me on one of those infamous email joke lists that we all circulate, and the original author was not identified. However, I recently received an email indicating that this is from The Backwoods Guide to Computer Lingo by Dave Nilsen.
LOG ON:Making a wood stove hot
LOG OFF:Too much wood on fire
MONITOR:Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
DOWN LOAD:Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
MEGA HERTZ:
When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
FLOPPY DISC:Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
RAM:That thar thang what splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE:Gitten home in the winter time
WINDOWS:Whut to shut when its cold outside
SCREEN:Whut to shut when its black fly season
BYTE:Whut dem dang flys do
CHIP:Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP:Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM:Whatcha do to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX:Ole Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP:Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD:Whar you hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE:Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD:
That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof
PORT: Fancy flatlander wine
ENTER: Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"
CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock yer gun
DOUBLE CLICK: When you cock the double barrel
REBOOT: Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you have to go to the outhouse
