How do I reach my sister?

by Mackin 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  link

  Makin

  If you replace the word sister with the word wife I could have written your opening post here.

  I just want to tell you that everyone who has responded to it has said exactly the right things from my experience.

  The only reservation that you (and I) might have concerns the depression. It is most certainly caused by the inner conflict of not wanting to face the truth head on and there is nothing we can do about that until they at least agree to look.

  It most certainly is not nice to see someone suffer needlessly, as they do but, we will be there for them when they need us

  link
• 

  Mackin

  Thanks everyone for your insightful replies.

  I am very aware of not "drowning" her with all the stuff I know about the dubs, that would turn her away from ever listening to me again. I just would like to be able to help her see a way out without loosing all her friends at once.

  Mackin.
• 

  Shakita

  Mackin:

  It is so hard to give advice when you don't personally know the person.

  Here is how our family handled the gradual deprogramming.

  My son first approached me with the UN issue. I was still reeling from losing both of my parents and was open to discussion on anything that had to do with the JW's. They gave us nothing but trouble concerning our daughter's wedding, and didn't give a hoot when my (worldly) parents died. So, my son approached me first with what he found on the internet on the involvement with the UN. That was the beginning for me. I just asked more questions, and because I had an open mind(very important!), I was able to see the WTBS for what it was. My husband took a little bit longer, but he soon joined me in reading Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom. That was the beginning of the end of our life with the JW's. Don't get me wrong, it was very hard. It still is. But, what made it easier for us is, that we had each other. Even if we lost all our so-called friends, we knew we still had someone to lean on.

  My advice would be to let your sister read for herself the books above. Along with that, drop some comments here and there about the UN issue, see how she really feels about the shunning issue...just feel her out. Most JW's don't agree with everything that the WTBS says. They just go along with it all because everyone else does. And, no matter what, let her know that no matter what she chooses to do, it doesn't change how you feel about her.

  Take care.

  Mrs. Shakita

  Edited by - shakita on 29 November 2002 16:29:36

  Edited by - shakita on 29 November 2002 19:6:25
• 

  larc

  I would add that you could tell her that you love her and are there for her, during her bouts of depression. If she opens up to you, I would still be careful and be noncommital regarding your opinions. Let her open up and explore her own thoughts. Show her unconditional positive regard no matter what she says. I think this is the only way she may begin to explore her own thoughts, if she feels comfortable with you and knows that won't try to influence her.