How long are people remembered?

by joelbear 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • els
    els

    JB, I don't think it is so important how long you are remembered as how well you are remembered. I just replied to Granny Linda's post about grandchildren with some memories of my grandmother. I have good memories of many people. My family had great times when I was growing up. We did alot of things together, working on our farm, swimming in the river, congregation get-togethers to play softball, square dancing, rollerskating, ice skating and sliding in the winter. But all that was overshadowed by the "truth". My brother was disfellowshipped for smoking and various ones of us were always in some trouble for things that should have been a normal part of growing up. I had one wordly friend that I held on to tenaciously. I never really felt like a true witness, just someone going through the motions. All of the good memories are tainted by the disapproval that was always there in the background.
    So I want my childrens memories to be better. I have kept them away from my parents disapproval. But now that they are older they know that it is there. They have written to my daughter asking how she thinks her college education will help her get everlasting life. My son knows that they think he is serving the devil because he is in the army. I try to tell them to be understanding but they don't want anything to do with my parents because they are shunning me.
    So my memories are ruined a little by the "truth" and so will my kids be. But their kids, my grandchildren, will know only unconditional love. So maybe I will only be remembered by two or maybe three generations if I'm lucky. But those memories will be the best that I can make them and hopefully that spirit will be passed down to generations I will never know. els

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    I think its ridiculous to say that suicide is always a bad decision.

    They kill suffering animals.

    Its ridiculous to REQUIRE that people wake up and feel bad and be in pain almost every day of their lives when nothing is going to change that.

    Whoopie, I can drug myself into happiness, numbing me from the things that cause me pain.

    I can learn to "deal with it" like everyone else does.

    Why don't I have the right to just say, you know, I quit, I give up.

    I've worked and paid my own way through life, why not be able to just say, I am finished now.

    Like I say, 30 years from now, nobody that knows me now will remember much about me.

    I simply don't see where it matters.

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    I think it matters to many of us here, and I KNOW it matters to Mitch!

    That's why.

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    I think if I disconnect from people first and begin the process of

    being a fading memory, that would be best.

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    Life is a precious, wonderful thing. I get up every morning thanking God for my life. I lost my grandmother this year and it was dreadful for me. Her last years weren't very good, and wanting to keep her around was just me being selfish. I will remember her though always, and I was lucky enough to have her parents around some of my life. What's so really great is that I look like my grandmother and my great grandmother. Now I know what I am going to look like when I am 85 years old!

    Edited by - TresHappy on 26 November 2002 12:9:24

  • Matty
    Matty

    pettygrudger has it right.

    You can't disconnect from people unless they choose to disconnect from you as well. We aint lettin that happen.

    My sig quote says it all.

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Then we'd have to remember the "slow fade" process too, wouldn't it just be better to take a look around you right now and realize how much you are loved - concentrate on that - giving back the love your given. Works much better that way & makes for some great memories!

    That would be much better!

  • Funchback
    Funchback

    Joel-

    You probably won't believe this but...

    Last week, I was telling my wife that there should be "people" Veternarians. You know, when I become old (and probably senile), it would be cool if someone could get a consultation from a "people" Vet about my health.

    "So, how long does my Funchback have to live? Is he in pain", my loved one would ask.

    "He'll probably live for another 8-12 months. He is in pain, though", the "people" Vet responds.

    "Well, in that case, we better 'put him down'. Will it hurt when you put him to sleep?", the loved ones asks.

    "No. It's actually quite painless. I think you are making the right choice. Say, would you like to be in the room while I euthanize him?"

    Okay, it wouldn't be cool. But, that's life, Joel.

  • Liberty
    Liberty

    Hi Joelbear,

    I would agree with you if you were talking about terminal cancer or another as yet incurable ailment and if a person only has a few months to live with no treatment available then they shouldn't suffer needlessly. You are not terminal though, nor have you tried every treatment. They can now electrically stimulate parts of the brain to relieve depression. There are also new drugs coming out all the time so there is hope left for you. I know it must be hard because you don't see that there are solutions but please give yourself a chance. I don't want you to suffer or just tough it out, that is why they invented drugs. Have your Dr. give you a stop gap drug which aleviates some of your symptoms while you look at other alternatives. Isn't radical brain surgery worth a try when death is your other choice? Look into it and use your Dr., that's what they get paid the big bucks for. Stay on them until they can give you some relief, make them earn their money. You have a serious life-threatening illness and they are sworn to help you. Let them know you are thinking of killing yourself. Let them know that you really need their help. Things will get better, you will feel better. You will not always feel the same despite how it looks now.

    Edited by - Liberty on 26 November 2002 16:24:13

  • willy_think
    willy_think

    Five generations seems to be the magic number in my family. I guess the longer you live the longer you are remembered.

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