> > > >Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
> > > >She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
> embarrassing
> > > >and somewhat lively reaction to her.
> > > >
> > > >Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent
> that
> > > >they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle
> > > >man,
> > > >he would never go for this carrying on." She made the supreme
sacrifice
> > and
> > > >gave up beans.
> > > >
> > > >Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since
> she
> > > >lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she
would
> > be
> > > >late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small
diner
> > and
> > > >the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she
> > still
> > > >had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill
effects
> by
> > > >the time she reached home.
> > > >
> > > >So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed
> > three
> > > >large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and
upon
> > > >arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.
> > > >
> > > >Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
> > "Darling,
> > > >I
> > > >have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led
> her
> > to
> > > >her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about
to
> > > >remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her
> > promise
> > > >not to touch the blindfold until he returned.
> > > >
> > > >He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had
consumed
> > were
> > > >still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable,
so
> > > >while her husband was out of the room she seized the
> > > >opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not
> only
> > > >loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
> > front
> > > >of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
> > > >vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three
more,
> > > >which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
> > > >
> > > >Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she
went
> on
> > > >like this for another ten minutes.
> > > >When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
> fanned
> > > >the
> > > >air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded
> her
> > > >hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
> > > >
> > > >She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
apologizing
> > for
> > > >taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that
> she
> > > >had
> > > >not.
> > > >
> > > >At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
There
> > were
> > > >twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy
> > > >Birthday"!!!
Beans