Subject: What Hallmark doesn't print 1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoilt your day. Look at the
bright side, it's really good pay.
2. My tyre was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the
tyre, I noticed your cat. Sorry!
3. Heard your husband left you, how upset you must be.
But don't fret about it, he moved in with me.
4. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help
but wonder, what the Hell was I thinking?
5. Congratulations on your Wedding Day! Too bad no one likes your
husband.
6. How can two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?
7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After
having met you, I've changed my mind.
8. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life, I never believed in
Hell till I met you.
9. As days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
ruin it for me.
10. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to
take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
11. Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.
12. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost lifelike.
13. When we were together, you always said that you'd die for me. Now
that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
14. I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best
friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
15. We have been friends for a long time. Let's say we stop?
16. I'm so miserable without you...it's almost like you were here.
17. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who
the father is?
18. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you terribly and think of you
often.
19. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
So we are having you put to sleep.
What Hallmark doesnt print!
by fairy 2 Replies latest social humour
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fairy
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Prisca
LOL, I love them, especially:
18. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you terribly and think of you
often. -
Mackin
These are brilliant!! ROFLMAO
Mackin.