Should I Respect Mums Wishes?

by Englishman 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman

    My JW mum has chosen not to write a will. As she has very little in the way of worldly goods, she has asked my brother and I to sell her possesions when the time comes, and give the money to "the congregation". Presumably the JW`s will decide suddenly that it`s now OK to talk to us DF'd ones.

    Also, my mum has asked me to pack up all her 100's of WT books for presentation to the local congregation library.

    Now, I have to tell you that these books include the original Watchtower and Awake volumes. You can imagine how useful it would be for me to have 50 years worth of those with which to wreak havoc!

    So it occurs to me that one day I'm going to be facing quite a dilemma, should I honour my mums wishes despite there being no will, or should I keep the books for myself to continue my small part in revealing the misdeeds of the WTBTS?

    At the moment I can't see a solution that would give any satisfaction except to the JW's, and, quite frankly, I certainly don't owe those guys any favours. At the same time I want to behave reasonably honourably in this, so I'm trying to prepare for a time when I won't be able to be so objective.

    Any ideas / opinions / advice will be gratefully received.


  • Pathofthorns

    Your mother's wishes are your mother's wishes and I think out of respect for her they should be followed.


  • Englishman


    I tend to agree that her wishes should be honoured, maybe I could hand the books over when I'm ready to? I do live a couple of hours drive from her, suppose I just took them home and told the cong to come and get them? They might wait for years!


  • Seven

    Hi EM, I know you want to honor your Mum's last wishes, but is there any chance you might borrow a few of these volumes now? Just a thought.


  • Welshman

    Hi Englishman,
    I think if it's her last wish you should do it,but I think that you should make them come and get it from you and do whatever you wish beforehand,after all think of all the wonderful spiritual truths you might learn.. Hey,the brothers may even say that you should keep them as they would undoubtedly benefit you spiritually.LOLOLOL.....
    As for the money I'm sure you would have some interesting ideas on how you could give them their gold.....
    My advice would be to follow your mum's wishes but make them squirm....

    Regards Welshman

  • Duncan

    Hi English

    I guess, same as all the other posters, that out of commmon decency you probably ought to respect her wishes, right enough.

    But I can't help thinking...

    Just say the boot was on the other foot, you were the one (for whatever reason, disease say) that was facing death soon, and were dependent on her. If you now expressed a dying wish to have your funeral conducted at a C of E church, do you suppose for one minute that she'd actually honour that wish when it came to it?

    Not if she's anything like my mum she wouldn't - the Truth comes first!


  • Mulan

    This kind of thing happens all the time in congregations, and that congregation may not appreciate having all those volumes to deal with, and may indeed just burn them. They probably already have them. I know the one we went to, had all of them all the way back, having been bequeathed to them many times over. My husband and other elders were all given large boxes of books after one elderly person died.

    As to the money, why should they have it? In the US, there are rights of survivorship laws, even with a will. One family, that I knew quite well, the father died young, leaving the wife with 4 kids. All but one of the kids went very wild, one even did time in jail. When the mother died, pretty young too (40ish)she left her entire estate to the Borg. The kids contested the will, because it was considerable, with their father's life insurance and hers too, and they won. That was cool. Of course, at the time, I thought the organization was being cheated and the kids would just squander it anyway. Never heard if they did or not.
    So, you have to weigh things I think.
    I know for us, when my mother dies, I am not going to any services at a KH. We will have our own, for the family and whoever else wants to come. The congregation can do what they want to do, but we will do the same. She won't be there to complain, finally!! She has no will so we can do what we are comfortable with. And we will.

  • battman

    Hello E-man,
    Explain to Mum she should most definetely have a
    will.!!!! If for some extreme misfortune, I hope not,
    she is killed in an accident by someone with deep pockets
    then her estate could be worth a considerable sum which
    would need to be properly managed. Mo $$$$ for CC of WT.

    Also I just had another thought about her "collection".
    Since she has clearly, and reasonably, stated her desires
    then have her insert "language" in her will regarding this
    donation* arrangement. I am sure she would want her
    material carefully cataloged, conserved, protected and
    certainly available to all to search out the "beef in its
    season". (Where is the beef???) As a c. 1884??? WT article
    reasoned that "mature" Chreatians would be "encouraged"
    to study and "mediate" on these fine scripual feeds.

    What a fine arrangement to have these precious "Tooths"
    on permanent display. Then it would be a "uncouncious
    matter" for her congregation super shelpards to seek
    God's finger, hand, arm to determine His will in the kind
    faithful sister's humle offering.

    *The Society has many arrangements for all sorts of
    different donations. I am sure they would appreciate
    her gift and would comply with her "exact" wishes.

    Yes, I agree with the previous posts and in this manner
    not only would you be folloing her wishs but by showing
    her this "new lite" I feel she will be encouraged by the
    refining process shown here.

    The bable says, somewhere, that we should be decerning (sic)
    and cunning. HEHEHEHEEHE. Just following orders booosssssss.
    WT quote: "it is ok to do stuff like this in Theo warfare."

    battman esq.

    "of the "pyramid class"

  • digderidoo

    Hi Englishman,

    I feel out of respect for your mom you should honor her wishes.

    However, if you feel that it would be against your principles to give the society the books or money, then you must be straight with her so that she should make alternative arrangements.

    First and foremost, i feel that whatever you decide to do, you should be straight with your mom.

    Yours Paul (aka digderidoo)

  • Englishman

    Actually, I'm wondering if I should have started this post as all sorts of memories are flooding back.

    My Dad was a professional man who gave up his job and home ownership as 1975 loomed, now my mum lives in a council house with just the State pension to live on.

    When he died we had no funeral as he stated beforehand that that was his wish. My mum wants the same for her.

    Those WTBTS b******s take everything, don't they?


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