ADVICE NEEDED

by Mary 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mary

  I need some advice on this one: A friend of mine who is still an active JW called me today all freaked out because another friend of hers, who only got baptized this summer, wants to leave "the truth". This is because she's been talking to "worldly" people and they've almost got her convinced that the religion is a cult.

  My girlfriend, Sarah says of course, that this is "Satan" trying to blind her, etc. etc. and she wants to talk to her to try and convince her to stay. Sarah is a wonderful girl, I really, really like her, but of course, she's been blinded into believing that this is the one true religion. And of course, as fate would have it, she wants my advice on how to handle it. (of all the ironies!)

  I've never told Sarah that I know this ISN'T "the truth", as I think it could really damage her. She's told me before that, even though half the people at the Hall piss her off with their arrogant attitude, she does believe that this is Jehovah's organization and that it's been her saving grace.

  Should I tell her the truth about the religion, or should I remain quiet? Personally, I think I should keep quiet, but I want some others opinions too.

  Edited by - Mary on 18 November 2002 15:50:51
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  Mackin

  Should I tell her the truth about the religion, or should I remain quiet?

  Tell her the truth about the "truth". But be cautious. Some people are not ready for the shock they will get when they realise that the organisation they have trusted and put their faith in for so long is a fraud.

  However, the sooner she sees the WTS is not "God's Organisation" after all the better.

  Mackin.
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  out4good3

  At this stage of the game if you tell her how you really feel about the Organization, she'll be even more convinced of Satan's craftiness and wickedness in trying to entice others away from the "trooth" and will most likely turn on you also. I'd try to get information from her about why this friend wants to leave and slowly focus her attention on these reasons. Not everyone is inclined to believe and fall in line just because the old geezers say it's so.

  who knows, it may spark a little critical and independent thinking on her part.
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  Gig

  Ask questions, leading questions, that way you can keep your disguise. You should know that you will never be able to stay credible if they don't have their own reasons for doubting. A conversation about the friend wanting to leave is an excellent opportunity. I hope that friend's reasons are worth conversing about but even if not, you still have an opportunity. Take it. Someone else put it on the table, not you, but you are willing to talk about it, a great balance. Refrain from jumping on any and every opportunity. Let your girl arrive at it herself by answering your questions honestly. Be careful with your questions, you will probably get blamed anyway for her doubts but as long as you can maintain the kind, considerate, and loving role the better. I'm not suggesting you aren't naturally that way but you risk losing it. Act carefully but act, one less witness is one more on God's side.

  Gig
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  hamptonite21

  Plant the seeds and begin to tell her some of the things you know about the WTBS
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  lv4fer

  Tell her the truth but a piece at a time. She may be more willing to accept things. If you tell her too much she will put up the wall and it's all over. Get the other girl aside and tell her to run and don't look back.
• 

  Buster

  the sooner the better - but in degestable pieces.

  I've always thought that one of the glues that holds people there is the amount of time they have been there. The longer the time, the more they would have to admit wasting.

  Your friend hasn't put in so much - but if you come at her with both barrels, she may heed the JW warnings.

  Good luck.
• 

  jazbug

  I'm pretty new at this exit thing....exiting from a cult .....but one of the things that really helped me is Steve Hassans book, "COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL". I don't know if she has been it long enough to see the connections between cults and JW's but it was sure an eye opener for me. The trick is to get someone to read it in the first place. Of course, the first one I read was C of C by Franz which helped to really open my mind to anything else.

  Good luck jazbug
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  jgnat

  At the appropriate moment, why don't you compliment Sarah for her inquiring mind? "I am sure Jehovah understands if you have some questions." Let her lead. All the society will do is fill her with doubt and guilt. Being a trusted confidante and building her confidence is a good start for the future.
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  Liberty

  Hi Mary,

  You have a very difficult problem. We might not know all the details so take this into consideration when evaluating our advice. If you depend upon or highly value your friend's continued support and association then you should be prepared for the very worst if you confront her about her religion. JWs often go ballistic when they discover your true feelings about their cult and may cut themselves off from your association completely. Can you handle this reaction? If you are not sure you can handle a worst case scenario then you should keep your feelings to yourself. If you trust that your friend will remain loyal despite your beliefs then be honest and let her know about your concerns and reservations. I too feel it is my responsibility to tell people the truth but it is your friend who is in a cult and is creating a stressful situation for you so your responsibility is limited by circumstances beyond your control. You are not obligated to join her in this cult mindset madness by arguing with her if it will do no good.