This is a joke that is told where I live. It translates very well from Spanish.
A little boy decides he wants a bike for Christmas. He prays and tells Jesus "I've been really good this year and think that I deserve a bike for Christmas" and goes on to describe the bike he wants in great detail.
As he is going to mail the letter, he passes by a statue of the Virgin Mary in the livingroom and her eyes seem to be looking right at him. She looks very disappointed. The little boy sighs and returns to his room.
He writes another letter stating that "while it is true that I have made some mistakes this year, I am trying really hard and think that you should really give me the bike to encourage me to be better."
As he is going through the livingroom again, there is Mary looking at him with even greater disappointment. He sighs. He returns to his room and takes out another piece of paper. He writes, "Ok, so I haven't been good. I have been disobedient, I have lied, and I have cheated in school. But, I am truly sorry and ask you to PLEASE, give me the bike! I'll do better next year, I promise."
He leaves his room with the letter and as he is passing by Mary, she is looking extremely sad and disappointed. So, he grabs the statue, duct-tapes her hands, eyes and feet and puts her in a box under his bed. He ripps up the last letter and sets down to write another.
"Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother alive again, you'll get me that damn bike!"