Have you ever shunned anyone after leaving the borg ?

by Clambake 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Clambake


    This isn’t particularly a JW question but if anyone knows the world of shunning it would be ex-JWs.

    I have a friend who about three years ago had an abortion and I haven’t been too friendly with since that happened. I haven’t said anything or done anything rude to her. We live in different cities and when I travel back home I don’t contact her. We do have some contact with email and facebook and such but not like before.

    A little bit of background , me and my wife have had fertility problems for years. Fortunately for us she is finally pregnant but it was really hard for me watching her world fall apart every 28 days.

    My friend got herself pregnant out of wedlock on purpose in her early 20s to a man with quite a lucrative profession and 12-13 years later when he really hits it big ( about 250,000 a year for 6 months work ) she find herself pregnant. Of course with the money and vacations there is no room for another child so off to the clinic.

    Of course being none of my business I have never said anything to anyone and watching the way the wives so friends act, I never want to be that morally bankrupt but am I really being any better.

  • blondie

    I never shunned any one before that. I always said hi; but I had d f'd people not talk to me afraid I might screwup the reinstatement. Since my leaving, no problem just continued the same. Some shun us for being inactive and others not. I was shunned by some when I was active and my husband was an elder. I figured in the end it was what god thought of me not judgmental humans. I don't even worry about that now. The law of love is universal and not dependent on a higher being.

  • rebel8
  • Clambake

    Ever been around a women who just spent 10000 plus dollars on a failed if cycle?

    Do you understand not only the finicial but emotional commit?

    Deleted. How constructive.

  • blondie

    failed if cycle?

  • Clambake
    So it's a phone thing. Ivf cycle
  • Old Goat
    Old Goat

    Even before I resigned as an elder there were few disfellowshipped people I wasn't kind to. It's unchristian to be unkind. Period. But yes, there are some "out of the truth" I will not associate with. An example is my brother. He's a self-entitled abuser of women, a drunk and cruel. I see no reason to treat him nicely. Correctly, yes. As my best buddy. Never.

    Sharing a rejection of the Watch Tower does not make me the friend of anyone with an abusive personality. Part of good judgment is to be selective in our associates. Being outside Watch Tower control, we can make our own choices. But being outside Watch Tower dictatorial and mindless control does not free us from the responsibility to make good choices in associates.

  • 3rdgen

    Clambake, as a woman who suffered almost 13 years of infertility, I understand your frustration and resentment of someone who didn't want her baby but didn't give it to a couple who desperately did. Unless a couple has experienced this emotional hell there is no way to adequately explain what it entails. Unless a couple travels every avenue they can afford to become parents only to be told there are no babies available to you due to the blood issue, unless you attempt private adoption, fall in love with the baby girl only to have the mother change her mind, there is no way to describe the agony.

    I DO get it and I am delighted your wife is pregnant now. I wish your growing family the best.

  • jhine

    Clambake , I'm not suree if you posed the question cus you're beating yourself up about your feelings but I think that anyone in your situation would feel the same. Your wife is blessed to have such a caring and supportive husband .

    Congrats from me too. Jan

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel
    I think how we choose our association should be a personal decision. I am free to associate with who I choose. I object to an organisation dictating who I can associate with.

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