Beck_Melbourne wrote:I was councelled for buying new furniture without my hubby's consent, as the time of the end was SO near
Thanks for sharing your experience. You really went through the wringer! If you think being counselled by your elder husband to exercise restraint in buying new furniture because it will get wiped out during the mass destruction anyways, it gets worse with some elder wives.
One elder's wife in a congregation I attended years ago was counselled by her husband to stop rearranging the furniture in their studio apartment! He likened it to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic would you believe! You should have seen the look on this poor woman's face, approximated something like this icon...
After 14 yrs of being married to Artilla the Hun I gave up...I just wanted an ordinary life....a life where I didn't have to ask permission for everything I wore, or said, or how my children behaved. Being an Elder's wife sux.
At the risk of making some women reading this burning angry, I've unfortunately observed that for some women it seems being treated like the man's personal property is a turnon. One elder bragged at a picnic that his wife exercised perfect obedience and did exactly what he asked when he wanted it. His only regret? That Jehovah didn't allow concubines. One brother pointed out to him that such was a blessing in disguise because otherwise there might not be enough sisters to go around. And so the conversation over barbequed ribs, potato salad and coleslaw went. I'm sure this sounds very familiar.
Christian men who truly want to treat their wives in the spirit of Christ will consider them as part of their own bodies, not as a personal asset. In many Watchtower publications they seem to get this "right" on paper and in theory, but in practice you find many men taking advantage of their loving wives. I believe this is because the Watchtower sends mixed signals, somehow. They pay lip service to the rights of women as precious vessels but the elders don't treat women as equals at the level of being fellow Christians. The result is that men get the message that a woman is not their equal.
Each sex has its unique weaknesses. Although women are referred to as the 'weaker vessel,' one kick to a man's loins will prove they too have weak spots. The Bible in other places recognizes the strength and power of women over men in many areas. Balancing all Bible scriptures together, it is evidence that men and women are considered equal before God. Taking the lead in a relationship should not be confused with superiority. The CEO of a company takes the lead but is far from superior to the many professionals that develop the company's technological products, for example. A husband is the CEO of a family but that does not mean he cannot voluntarily relinquish that role if the women is the breadwinner, just as a CEO of a company can step down to serve on the Board while another executive steps into the CEO position. Roles change of the fact all are on equal footing as professionals in a company always remains constant. A family should also consider themselves as all equal members of God's family. I long for the day when JWs will learn this important Christian tenant to the extent of practicing it on a large scale across the organization (and not just occasional examples of good marriages).
My apologies for the long read, too!
Derrick