Dreams of old friends

by back2dafront 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • back2dafront

    Ever since leaving 4 years ago, at least twice a week I have dreams of old friends, and sometimes I wake up crying, laughing, etc., depending on what it was about. The ones that bother me the most involve me walking down Columbia Heights seeing old Bethelite friends, and they all look at me weird because I have dreds and earrings now, but they still talk to me. But they have this look of disgust on their faces, like I'm not good enough for them anymore. In these dreams I walk through Bethel and am labeled as the "weak one" or the one that "needs encouragement." I wake up from these dreams frustrated, and they always seem SO REAL, that's what's scary. But it hurts a lot, knowing that most of my previous friends no longer view me as their friend anymore.

    My family thinks I left to "pursue my own selfish desires" although I've repeatedly told them numerous reasons why I left, all of them having to do with my thoughts on the organization. They don't understand "how I could turn my back on my family and friends to pursue my own life" and I can't seem to explain to them how this isn't anything remotely like that. I've used illustrations (such as 'if you grew up in a gang-related family and then wanted out after awhile, would you stay in just so you could be w/ your family, or would you be true to your hearts desire and leave?") but even that only provoked a "do what you need to do" response. They still can't seem to understand, and I don't know how anyone could NOT understand.

    So frustrating. I wish I could make the dreams go away. I really miss my friends a LOT. Not as easy making friends as it used to be....

  • Robdar


    I am happy for you that you are living your life. I am also happy for you that your family tells you to "do what you have to do". They could be shunning you, you know.

    You will make more friends, false and true. Give it some time. I wish you well.



    Edited by - robdar on 27 October 2002 15:43:33

  • StinkyPantz

    Wow, I can totally relate to this. I was df'd last year partially because my best friend of 15 years betrayed me ("hinted" to the elders about my "worldly" boyfriend). At first I used to dream of her all of the time. It has lessened somewhat, but it used to make me mad. She betrayed me but in my dreams we were always friends.

  • LB

    Get yourself involved someplace back. You'll make tons of friends. I'm honestly was very surprised how many decent fun people are running around the neighborhood these days.

  • LyinEyes

    I have had some of those dreams too. I take my dreams seriously and use them to dig deep into my real feelings and fears. It is hard no matter how many times we try to let all the JW thing go, it really does take the whole process to truly get through it all. My dreams have changed alot , and sometimes they are good sometimes they break my heart. I had a thread awhile back on my dreams and the course they have taken as I have left the JW a year ago. It is amazing to chart your dreams and see how far you have come . Embrace you dreams to find out more about yourself and sometimes our dreams can tell us what our next move might can be .

  • back2dafront


    That's true, they could be shunning me. I guess I'm fortunate in that regard, we still talk on the phone periodically.

    Thanks for your comments, I really appreciate the support.

    Take care,


  • back2dafront


    One thing about being raised a Witness is that it prevented me realizing what the world is really like. I was way too trusting w/ numerous people because I felt most people were naturally trustworthy, such as most of the friends left behind amongst the dubs. You definitely gotta watch your steps a lot closer and be a LOT more selective of friends, that's for sure.

    I'm working on it, it's a slow process but it's coming along.

    thanks for the input....


  • ugg

    i dream about exfriends also....they are always night mares...me being marked and punished....

    i even dream about old high school friends who,(i had nothing but fun with) are marking and shunning me!!!! this religion definately haunts a person and hurts them....

    i hope your dreams end for you...i hope some day that they end for me to..it is awful...

  • Windchaser

    I don't have nightmares about exfriends as much any more. But, when I'm awake and I start to think about what jws said or did to me, it's worse than a nightmare. It's reality and I'm really glad that I'm not around them. Hopefully, your dreams will subside as time goes on.

  • dazedgrl

    Jason, I can totally identify with your post. When your raised in the orginization, its a huge part of who you are. Im sure part of me will always be the JW girl in the back of my mind. I feel almost like I cant really identify with the rest of the world quite yet. And I also find myself being way too trusting.Eventually Im sure missing the old friends will go away for both of us. Your an awsome guy, and I for one am really glad I met you!

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