Ok, I can't top those that I have gone before and I don't think I followed the "rules" exactly, but here's my story:
The Date
So, my friend set me up. Shed been after me to go out with this guy she knew, and, while I had heard rumors that he was Abaddon, she seemed convinced he was a good 'un, so I agreed.
He picked me up in his Chevy Tanalyst and we went to Mulan's Hojon of Hooberus Hamptonite on the corner of Talleyman and VeniceIT for dinner. " Hmmm", I thought to myself as we entered and were greeted by Lady Lee and her husband Lee Elder, who was quite a Megadude, "could this be a Larc of some sort?" I was feeling Decidedly_unsure about this guy, this restaurant, this whole evening, but figured it was better than Waiting at home. I knew I needed to be Openminded, without being Mouthy, but I'd never eaten in a place that offered exotic types of Animal like OrangeFatCat and Gopher as entrees.
As we settled in with our menus, my companion asked the server, who was dressed like a Princess, if he could possibly have Vitameatavegamin for dinner, to which she responded that shed have to check with the chef. She turned towards the kitchen and yelled: "Hillary_step out here please!" After a brief conversation in which the chef agreed to the request, my date was a Happyman and said he was now in Heaven. I thought this was a bit Rekless but who am I to judge? I felt such Joy2bfree of the house and the kids that I considered going on a Bendrr, but after 144001 drinks, decided Id Had_Enough since I didnt want to make a Farkel of myself.
After dinner, we drove to the PleasureDome for the concert of some hot new band called the Englishmans Sabine, or something like that. We were supposed to be there no later than Sixofnine, but got stuck behind a Mustang driven by a NeonMadman who was DazedandConfused. I suspected that he was a Crazy151drinker, and my date was so frustrated that he was Orbitingthesun. He finally turned off and we were Outnfree at last! It was Amazing, because we thought we were Out4good3 and were going to miss the concert, but we made it with Noidea how. There was a Sentinel at the front door and I bumped into a gorgeous Cowboy who was, unfortunately, a Goodboy and merely tipped his hat to me. The stadium was dark, but as we settled into our seats, Anewlight2 came on and the crowd began chanting, "Expatbrit! Expatbrit!" I assumed this was some type of British laxative and decided to avoid the food at the concession stands, but Somebody on the other side of me, who seemed tired and without any Zev, explained that this was the name of the lead singer, who was actually Canadian, had a banana fetish, very long arms, and went Ballistic on the guitar. The music was good, especially the backup singers, The XenaWarriors, who were dressed in leather pants and Tyydyy shirts, and I was Happy2b there.
Up to this point, things had been going pretty good but the trip home suddenly became a Pathofthorns for me. My date, who had behaved like Jesus Christ all night, suddenly turned into Saint Satan and wanted me to worship his Flaming Seraphim. I got nervous and, as he moved his hand in the direction of his lap, I screamed: "NO! Dont FreeWilly!" I was a bit abashed when I realized that he was only going for his keys, but hey, Im free2bme these days, so I pretended that I have Tourettes and all was PeaceLoveandHarmony again. We pulled up in front of my house and, as I was getting out, I thanked him for the pleasant evening. He leaned over to respond in kind, when his voice changed and howls of pain erupted from him. Unfortunately, I had accidentally slammed the door on his Uncle Bruce.
The End
Dana
P.S. Sorry, the formatting is off. I tried to fix it, but can't quite figure out how.
Edited by - safe4kids on 6 November 2002 15:4:56
Edited by - safe4kids on 6 November 2002 15:7:55