What would I do?

by Jesus Christ 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Solace
    Solace

    XW,

    Must have been the brownie.

    Valis,

    Haha, Why? Are you suddenly modest?

  • Mac
    Mac

    Can you recommend a good brand of sandals??????

    mac

  • Valis
    Valis

    Heaven...no just a show off!!

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Solace
    Solace

    Hmmm......

    For some odd reason, I have to say I believe you....

    My guess is you should have no problem going straight there in a handbasket. If you believe in that sort of thing.

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ
    Does it annoy you when Christians keep asking "What Would Jesus Do?"

    Yes, incredibly. Its usually just how does some stuffy, uptight, and boring person want to project themselves onto me. It really annoys me when silly humans (and its usually only done by the most silly humans who do this) seem to think that I'm some boring guy who never gets drunk and goes home with whatever ladies will have me and only wants to sit around and sing praises to dad all day long. Its not like ol' Spanky needs me to feel good about himself, he just looks at Jennifer Lopez to see all the great things that he's made.

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ
    I know the Bible says that you were tempted in every way so you must have been tempted by a woman.Could you please give us all the details?

    No. Not all them. Do you realize how much pull dad had to use to get all that stuff left out of the bible? We're talking good stuff here. Its just so happens that my dad is the most supreme being in this universe (and a few others) so he's able to get all the details about the wine, women, and farm animals left out.

    What I will hint at, however, is that Paul Westerberg and Kevin Smith have good blood running through their veins. Must have had a cool ancestor somewhere back in time..................

    Edited by - Jesus Christ on 25 October 2002 0:22:51

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ
    Do you and the old man ever take a peek into porn studios while they are filming?

    Yes. All the time. In fact, the only reason Jimmy Ray wasn't stopped and was so succesful (ok, was a 1 hit wonder but still) was only because we were to busy watching some really great adult movies being made. We're sorry about that guy. Very very sorry and we promise that you'll never have to deal with a guy like that again.

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ
    Jennifer Lopez is a bitch who swaps men, calls out "JEESUS" during sex and Jesus gets off watching?

    Yes. Look, I don't care who she's having sex with (with the exception of Jimmy Ray but we've made sure that will never happen), she's hot so we'll oh so gladly watch.

    And, of couse, don't worry heaven. We do enjoy watching you do the deed too. Hey, Jennifer has to rest from time to time so we still need something to watch right?

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ
    Was that really you and your dad I saw at the Jethro Tull concert in 1977 or was it something I ate?

    Probably not. We never really got into them too much. Probably the best music out in 1977 was the Ramones. Don't worry though, you'll be seeing us soon enough though.

  • Jesus Christ
    Jesus Christ
    Can you recommend a good brand of sandals??????

    I don't really wear sandals too much anymore. Come on, do you dress the same way you did back in the 80's? Well, now that you're not a JW anymore that is. The only pair of sandals that I have now is just some generic pair I picked up at the Family Dollar in Myrtle Beach that I picked up on vacaction a fews years ago.

    So, what do I cover my feet with these days? Converse One Star's mostly. Yes, I know those are a bit outdated but not as much as my old sandals. In fact, they don't even make these shoes anymore or if they do they didn't at least make them about a year ago when I found a website that specializes in old shoes and had a few pairs of One Stars in my size and I promptly ordered all they had which is the only time I've spend a couple hundred on shoes at once. On top of that I also had a shipping bill so big its not even funny. Its not cheap sending stuff to other countries so imagine how much it costs to send it to where I'm at. Hey, once I find something I like I stick with it!

    Oh, if anyone wants a quick ticket to heaven, find a pair of black Converse One Stars in size 12 and send them to me.

    Dad bless you!

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