He said THOSE WORDS........

mamashel

......I never wanted to hear from anyone ever again!

This weekend was a terrible weekend. My husband and I were just bickering and fighting all weekend. Friday was his birthday, and we had some things happen and didnt get to really go out and enjoy it. But the rest of the weekend was a disaster with one thing after another. We had to take my son to the emergency room last night and was there until 1:00 in the moring, (he's ok btw) but we were arguing back and forther about his family right there in the hospital. Well the next thing i know he said to me, "you know why everything is going the way its going dont you?" I just looked him in the eye and told him if you say it has anything to do with leaving the kingdom hall, i will scream to the top of my lungs. I just cannot believe the mind control that the org has on people while being in and even after leaving.

He stayed on a guilt trip just for opening his birthday presents, and I could tell by the way he acted that he was still afraid that he was doing something wrong. I just pray that he doesnt say he wants to go back. I dont know if i could stand it. He says he doesnt want to, but it is still in his head that all this stuff is still wrong.

Is there anyone here that was raised in the org like he was that can tell me that maybe one day he will be able to get over this guilt?

thanks

Shelley

SixofNine

He has to research.

Even if he isn't a "research" kinda guy, he has to get off his lazy ass and research.

Tell him if he is so fucking stupid as to want to feel guilt, he should at least KNOW what the hell it is he is feeling guilty about.

Be sure to phrase it just as above, lol .

As any policeman will tell you, ignorance of the law is no excuse.

freedom96

The only time we will feel guilt is when we feel like we are doing something wrong. We were so brainwashed for so long, that it is impossible for that to leave right away.

I would encourage him to do some serious research, and realize that once and for all, the WTS is not the true religion, and if that is the case, they have nothing on us at all.

mamashel

thanks you guys. That is exactly what i said to him last nite. That he owes it to himself to do the research. All i ever heard him say in our 10 yrs together when it comes time to prove something, is he will say, well that's what THEY taught us. And my thing is, that is what they say, NOT what the bible says.

So my hope is that if i keep leaving my COC book laying aroung, he will pick it up and look at it.

SHelley

DJ

Hi Shell,

My 2 cents....go very slow with him. Baby steps. He is fragile now. If you start gung -ho with birthdays and holidays too soon...he will not be able to handle it. This is a very slow learning and healing process. It is a great idea to have him do the research. For your own good and his right now, go ever so slowly with the celebrations of holidays and whatever else he may still be sensitive to. I wish you the best because you have a tough road to ho with him still. Pray for him, girl! Love, Dj

p.s. I could be wrong here, but I think that he may be looking at you and watching to see if you are carefully making your decisions now or if you are just jumping into everything that the 'world' teaches. He is going need extra love and care for a while. I also think that because he is the Man...he feels a responsiblity to guide his family in the right way. This will take him time and if I were you.....I'd feel glad that he isn't being hasty about his feelings. He will be ok, in time. Love, Dj

nilfun

((((((mamashel))))))

Even though doing the guilt thing doesn't feel very good, it can become a hard habit to break. Being raised in the truth caused me to feel guilty about almost everything. Change is scary, sounds like he is scared of all the changes. Hang in there, and yeah, I agree, him doing some research is a great idea too.

LovesDubs

Its that "dont get out of the bed, or the boogie man under your bed will GRAB YOU!" syndrome, coupled with the JW mentality that ALL things that happen to you that are bad are direct results of YOU having done something to piss off Jehovah and hes retaliating. Start pointing out to him some bad things that happened while you were both IN the JWs and ask him why he thinks there is a difference??? And...that scripture that says TIME AND UNFORSEEN OCCURRENCE BEFALL US ALL which the Jws love to throw around with regard to "luck". We are taught from PAGE ONE in the Live Forever book that all things negative are direct attacks from Satan...well helllooooo he is now saying that its Jehovah attacking because you guys left or is this Satan because because you left? Or just WHO THE HELL IS DOING THIS TO YOU?

Hes just scared...he stuck his toe out of that bed and sure enough SOMETHING BIT IT!! Turns out it was the jacks he left laying there the night before, but his brain is screaming BOOGIIEEEE MAAAANNNn!!

mamashel

Dj, nil and love, you are so right. I am probably overly excited to get into the holidays, mostly for the kids.

But, i didnt really stop to think about his feelings.

Jriz, i appreciate that too, but he did ask me what i was going to get him for his birthday, because he took me out last month for mine. So i do see he probably wants to, but is still alittle afraid.

Thanks again for the advise.

shel

SpannerintheWorks

If I were you, I would spoil him something rotten for the next few days - that always works, if you know what I mean!

BluesBrother

Take heart Mamashel, we have had plenty of "Terrible weekends" since I stopped serving the congo.

I am glad your son is o k .- no doubt your husband was afraid for him

The power of ingrained thinking is very strong, at least he has come a long way and can objectively question the teachings , so many cannot .

He said THOSE WORDS........

Share this