If only you just wouldn't CLAP so hard....

by PopeOfEruke 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • PopeOfEruke

    Whats with the JW's and that insane clapping that goes on at assemblies? Can you all remember it? Not just at the conclusion of a talk (which is somehow expected and simply courteous), but the intra-talk claps where sometimes no-one know if its a Clap-moment or not....

    So the speaker drones on and on, and then comes the voice inflection change, either louder ot higher-pitched, and then you know its coming: Another clap-moment......*groan*

    And sometimes the braindead audience get it wrong and either

    (A) clap when its just a normal pause and not a real CLAP-moment, and the speaker sometimes starts the next sentence when the non-scheduled clap-event takes place, and has to stop and start again; or

    (B) the speaker doesn't get the hint across properly, so there's a big pregnant pause, then a few idiots start clapping, then a few more, till it either develops into a proper CLAP-moment, or else just fizzles out in a cacophony of random sparse claps....

    And what about the rolling CLAP-events? Where the talk is reaching some climax and the speaker is ejaculating one voice-inflected sentence after another, each one being a clap moment. And the brain-dead audience are forced to clap, stop, clap, stop, clap, stop. Like Rolling Thunder....

    Are the talk outlines prepared with the CLAP-moments highlighted??

    How we ever sat through all that clap crap I just don't know...........

    Pope (all clapped out)

  • Simon

    ha ha ... I love when we had the half-clap's that fizzled out, esp. when you could feel the speaker squirm. lol

  • mevirginia

    We should have clap cards, like on the Tonight Show.

  • ballistic

    I could never tell when the mexican wave moments were either but judging by how often brothers and sisters leave their seats at district assemblies, probably all the time.

  • shera

    At the assemblies I went to ,the speakers would ask us to clap when the talk ended,because of the interruptions.It would still happen tho.

    They would start that clapping ,then stop with a few still clapping.Then he would talk longer..like take a hint..stop being long winded and get it done already.

  • PopeOfEruke

    The young ones usually took the lead to get the audience going in those Intra-talk claps when I attended years ago. We tried to outdo each other with the loudness of the claps, and also with being the first to get the clap-roll started.

    I remember once with my nephew, we did the loud clap-trick and an old codger near us had been dozing, he nearly jumped out of his skin when we clapped really loud right right next to him. ha ha


  • Preston

    How we ever sat through all that clap crap I just don't know...........

    Preston: *APPLAUSE* oops...

    Pope: (looks confused)

    Preston: (jumps on stage unexpectedly and steels Pope's hat to deflect attention)

    Pope: Hey!

  • Beck_Melbourne

    I think clapping is the jw equivalent to other churches yelling out spontaneous words like 'amen' 'thank you jesus' 'praise the lord'. JWs don't leap up and start praising yahweh in another tongue...they just clap when the spirit moves them.


  • Mac

    As was the case with many a witness youth, I always roamed and sat with a little pack of about five or six guys and girls. To keep ourselves amused (in addition to my drawing caricatures of the speakers) we would wait until a clapping frenzy was just about to end and then begin applauding again with alll the gusto and volume we could muster until the ranks of the faithful followed suit in creating another thunderous crescendo!

    We would also initiate clapping at the mention of such inspiring words as; intermission, break, lunch, hoagie, and closing prayer! lol

    mac, of the easily entertained class!

    Edited by - mac on 20 October 2002 20:45:52

    Edited by - mac on 21 October 2002 3:37:48

  • PopeOfEruke


    Mac, you little anarchist you! *gives the anarchist a cigarette*


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