parental advice needed.......

by scootergirl 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • scootergirl

    jefft wrote:

    We moved from an affluent suburb to a small town (this sort of thing may not be an option for you)

    LOL.......sorry, I had to laugh. I don't think towns get any smaller than ours! Pop.......70 and 5 of them are us!

    The kids go to a small school. PreK-12 in one building. Classrooms average about 20 students per grade.

  • pettygrudger

    When my son in his elementary years was one being picked on by the class bullies, we tried all the things that you did. Nothing worked. We even met with school officials regarding the bullies (it wasn't just my kid - there were other children involved as well). When that didn't put a stop to the little brats, I gave my son permission to use physical violence. He took the "ring leader's" head, rubbed it into the dirt. He had to defend himself 2x, then the bullying stopped. He had alot more self-confidence after that too. I am the last person to say "resort to the physical", but in the case of bullys, its usually the only thing they understand. Of course this was 9 years ago, and I don't know what "retaliation" could be like - (sigh) so perhaps you should go over & kick the bullys parents ass!!!!

    Oh, and my son got in trouble with the school too (which I warned him may happen & told him he would have to pay the consequences of his own actions). But he didn't get into trouble at home, just a weeks worth of detention.

    Sorry scooter - I know how those maternalistic instincts kick in when the little ones are hurt - so I'd recommend you stay away from the school during recess time for awhile!

  • Crazy151drinker

    Let him know that in 6 years he will be the big football stud and get all the chicks.

  • scootergirl

    mamashel wrote:

    biggest thing the doctor was concerned about is it going into diabetis

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I have to say that my son is overweight. He's not obese by any means, but he is on the "bigger" side. I talked to his step-mother about my concerns and his eating habits when he visits his dad. The discussion went to overweight=diabetes later in life. How scarey!

    Thanks for everyone sharing their experiences with me. I really really appreciate you opening up and letting me in your life.

  • scootergirl

    crazydrinker.......i just love you! LOL

  • ashitaka

    Hey Scoot,

    I was a little fat kid too. I had some bad times when I was young. Always bad at sports, always chunky, and I hated it. I think you should just worry about his physical protection, and make sure that the principal and teachers (as well as those damn hired 'monitors') know what's going on.

    He'll outgrow his problems with confidence, but it won't be easy. It never is. Changing attitudes is one thing, but appearance is another. In high school things will change, but getting him into activities that involve him with kids outside of his School's social circle would be best. Someone suggested martial arts....good idea. Make him confident in his mind, and accept his appearance...trying to make him change it will just accentuate something that is not important.

    Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I was the little smart, fat kid who nobody liked. I was bad at sports AND a JW. Now, I'm married to a beautiful woman, successful in my job, and balanced in my life, but I'm still kind of chunky, and it's not that big of a deal. I give my mom a lot of credit for that because she never mentioned my weight, just now and then she would say that one helping was enough, and things like that.

    Your kid will be fine, I'm sure.


  • Mulan

    Tae Kwon Do is wonderful. The therapist recommended that and he enrolled and stayed with it until he was in college, when he ran out of time to continue. He got to red/black belt. Pretty close to black belt. I'm sure it helped a lot.

  • openminded

    I agree with Mulan (TKD not nly provides excercise but confidence and dicipline as well). In MN, most communities offer football to boys in the 4th grade. It would not only provide excercise but also allow him to use weight to his advantage. Something to think about. om

  • xenawarrior


    Are there any pictures available of what James' Dad looked like from 4th grade to when his body changed? It might help James to see that it really will change. Yes, he'll still have to wait but it may help him to actually see that things for him will change.

    And yes, I would suggest talking to the folks at the school. This kind of thing can escalate into something pretty ugly and it may be avoidable. Perhaps these other kids' parents aren't aware that their children are treating another child this way. I can tell you that if the school ever had to call me and tell me that my daughter was treating others this way, there would be consequences for her. If the parents aren't made aware, they cannot deal with the behavior of their children.

    I had a situation when my daughter was in 1st grade and walking the few blocks to her day care home after school every day. She came home with a big scratch on her on her cheekbone. I asked her what happened and she told me that this "bigger kid" threw an ice ball at her. An inch difference and her eye would have been damaged. This wasn't a snowball fight. So I marched over to the kid's house and the Dad came to the door and the kid confessed. After some calm discussion with the boy about how easily he could have severly harmed my daughter, the Dad assured me that he would take care of the situation and by the look on the kid's face, I could tell he would. And he did.

    My 145 cents


  • ashitaka
    the Dad assured me that he would take care of the situation and by the look on the kid's face, I could tell he would. And he did.



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