What are your thoughts on writing DA letters?

by mamashel 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ThiChi

    I like DA letters too. You have the last "word" and you can mail copies to all your Jws friends, so they know the truth of your departure, not just what the Elders say about why you departed (and yea, they will paint a very poor untrue picture of you once you are gone! The creeps can and do lie, I saw it as an Elder).

    One word of advise, dont make your letter very long. They will not read it and you will look as if you are rambling. One page, very concise and to the point will do! I lifted a couple points from Franz' Books that really got some of my Jw friends to think...they will still talk to me because they know my reasons are valid!

  • jurs


    Well maybe DA letters affect some but not all. The DA letters didn't make me leave the org instead it just sat with other issues that nagged at me. I think alot has to do with your personality. I suppose I can be a bit of a drama queen. Its been over a year sinse I DA'd myself and I think back and it seems kindof funny. I mean I called friends that were JW's and told them before it became official and they couldn't talk. I called bible studies. I had one hell of a meeting with the elders when they came to talk to me. I was in their face!!!! It felt good. But I see its not for everyone.


  • Mulan

    I say don't do it. That makes it too easy for them, and you would be cutting yourself off from your inlaws, who would have to treat you as though you are df'd.

    I want to make it as difficult as possible for them. They would love to df us, but can't. Hahahhahahahha. I am not about to clear the slate for them.

  • AwakenedAndFree

    Dear Shirley,

    I'am inactive also, and I intend to remain so, if possible. And I agree with Mulan's statement not to dissassociate from the Watchtower Society in writting.

    Why? Beacause:

    Handling a dissassociation letter to the Watchtower Society will result in your loss of being able to communicate with your loved ones and friends who are still in. Not writting them the DA letter gives you an opportunity to witness to your loved ones and also to the ones who have not shunned you as a result of your exit from the Watchtower Society (inactive status). By being in an inactive status you can witness to them - you can show them the real "truth" of this man-made organization as you find it opportune to do so.

    Christian Love,


    Edited by - AwakenedAndFree on 14 October 2002 16:50:12

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    I think the following old saying applies here:

    "Let sleeping dogs lie".

  • JT

    great subject- here is a little thread that we dicuss this issue on as well



    One of the most painful things I continue to see here on this forum as well as all the others is that many who want to leave wt simply don't know how to leave and remain "Intact" as it were.

    I recall talking with jw who "Formally Disassociated themselves back in the 70s and it was not till the 90s and the net did they finally feel free

    or many who jump UP and write a letter off to Mo Larry and Curly (CONGREGATION SERVICE COMMITTEE)

    While I feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing a letter for many it is a matter of

    1. Poor timing and
    2. not being prepared for what will follow

    When I read of folks who wrote letters feeling bad or feeling that must meet with the elders to me that means they were not ready AT THAT TIME.

    The net is really the answer for all lurkers and those who are thinking about leaving why not Learn how to leave WT at least somewhat Intact

    Before writing a letter be sure to get the Pros and Cons of writing a letter- for me personally I wouldnt waste the paper or stamp- but I fully understand for those who do there is no right or wrong should I send one or not

    But more of a

    1. When should I do this and
    2. How-

    I highly recommend throwing it out here in the forum for suggestions- the reason why is simple

    The avg. jw has so little understanding of the WT Corporate Procedures when it comes to how they deal with folks

    Being Former Society Man the rules and policies swallow up the avg. person

    I recall seeing persons who are leaving spend weeks Xeroxing 40=50 pages of copies of wt history to Let the bro. know why

    They dont give a RATS A$$ and once a person comes to understand that then they know how to proceed

    Much like explaining Gravity to a 6 month old baby it means absolutely nothing-

    Also understanding that the avg. Joe blow elder is as much a victim as we were

    What I have seen here on the net is how some of the most condemning folks ( she got low hours cant be too spiritual)

    ( she can pioneer her hubby make s enough money) etc myself INCLUDED once we learn the truth about the truth

    we feel so bad about how we treated others when we were in the Org-

    I look back at some of the judicial cases that we handled and being a Society Man I went by the BOOK

    VERY LITTLE feeling for the Individual person GOT TO KEEP THE ORG CLEAN-

    SO FOR me know I only hope that all the folks I dealt with in an unloving way can forgive me for it was done out of ignorance and being blinded.

    So for any who want to get out--------- please and I beg of you feel free to ask here on the forum what things you need to consider so when you decided to make your move you can LEAVE INTACT


  • metatron

    Amen, Brother JT

    Don't ever DA yourself. You're playing their game.

    If you do, you are written off as an apostate. No one will ever talk to you again.
    They won't even think about you. You cease to exist.

    On the other hand, if you fade away,

    You show up maybe at Memorial in a Lexus, you look young and fit and happy,
    you get an education, things look good

    ..... and it makes them think.

    You don't regularily attend or comment or go out in service

    and no lightning bolt hits!

    You have fun in life, smiling, - and it drives them nuts.

    that's why you shouldn't DA yourself


  • ChuckD

    There is a big difference between writing a DA letter, and sending it in to them. I did the former for my own peace of mind, as a mental excercise. I never sent it in, because I am not going to play by their rules one bit.

    I also found that what I would have wanted to say in a letter at one point in my life was quite different than what I would have wanted to say just 6 months later. The problem is, their method gives you one letter, which they are not going to read anyway. I say screw 'em and feed 'em cheese! Write the letter for your own purposes, but don't send it in to them.


    Edited by - ChuckD on 14 October 2002 17:31:20

  • Beans

    I say don`t do it as it does more harm than good, not going anymore is enough closure for some so I would stick with that.


  • DanTheMan

    I DA'd, and I used to post in favor of disassociation, but now I'm more neutral, leaning against it (thanks to JT). Why give them an excuse to slander you mercilessly? I know that's what they're doing with me -

    "Dan just never took deep root in the troof..."

    "Dan was always waiting for some sister to come along and make him happy..."

    "You always wondered whether Dan was going to make it. It seemed like he just never quite got it..."

    "Dan DA'd to get back at so-and-so"

    "Dan just couldn't accept the imperfections of the bros and sisters..."

    "He was kind of a weirdo anyway..."

    Maybe these are paranoid imaginings, but I was around long enough to know how they are.

    They'll never think for a minute that you have solid rational reasons for doing so. The average dub is completely convinced of the WT's supposed airtight doctrine. I remember a overhearing a coversation between two sisters about a year before I left. The one was saying to the other "why would anybody ever leave this wonderful org??" My disassociating was a bit of a drama queen maneuver, a hasty knee-jerk reaction to my discovering the truth about the truth.

    If you do decide to DA, make sure you think about it long and hard.

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