Meat In Due Season - February KM

by Stephanus 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • reubenfine

    March issue........"Increase Your Joy In Preaching." Nice......good luck! Oh shit, I'm not supposed to say that.

  • SYN

    Oooh! Thx Steph! More "milk" in due season, or whatever the hell the current expression for Bullsh*t, Tower Style is!

    "Millions of the 'other sheeple' will reflect on their wonderful privilege to be united with Jehover and his Son"

    Translation: If you're a Dubbie, you get to watch the crazy guy in your Hall drink wine and chew on a cracker. In fact, the whole Congregation gets to watch him! Ain't life good?

    "Spending countless ages in intimate association with the Source of love had a profound effect on God's Son!"

    Yeah, it was even worse than having to go to meetings 3 or more times a week! He musta been bored to tears!

    "The Body of Elders (also known as the Collective) should make a special effort to encourage all inactive Witnesses in the territory to attend the Memorial."

    Damn inactive dudes! One minute you're supposed to hate them if they're inactive, yet still invite them to the memorial? WTF?

    "Two years ago in the ilsand country of Papua New Guinea, 11 interested persons travelled in a small boat for 17 hours through rough seas in order to be present. Why?"

    Because they hadn't had had wine for 3 years? Maybe they were after the crackers! DOH!

    "Even if they should witness for just 15 minutes, this should be reported, and they will continue to be counted as regular Kingdom Publishers"

    Damn! The lies are stunning! What happens if they go deaf or dumb? Do they become inactive? What a pack of morons!!!!!!!!

    "First of all, we must develop the 'mind of Christ' and be willing to live by 'the law of Christ"

    Translation: Do what we say.

    "Furthermore, we must have a sincere, heartfelt desire to be led by Jehover's Spirit"

    Translation: Do what we say.

    "May we continue to work hard to ensure that our own lives and that of our family members reflect a keen desire to conduct ourselves in a manner that brings Jehovah's approval."

    Translation: Do what we say.

    An especially sickening issue, but thank you for your time Steph!

  • Stephanus

    Glad everybody is enjoying this "feast from Jehovah's table"! LOL Syn, it's good to have someone like you doing the pre-chewing of all this valuable food - saves us all a lot of trouble.

    I'll try to get some more KMs up today. Dmouse informs me it'll be about a fortnight before we get the November KM - should be worthwhile, as there is apparently some stuff on the child abuse issue contained therein.

  • Stephanus

    April, May, June and July KMs now up

    I've been working hard to get a lot up quickly. Remember folks, it is the 'Tower itself that says the time is short.

    The May issue is interesting because it tells you how to attend a DC - even down to what to wear and other basic behaviour which is probably second nature to a worldling. Dmouse was amused that they even went so far as to advise the brothers not to abuse complementary breakfasts provided by hotels - perhaps the brethren have been overly zealous in inviting people to feast at Jehovah's table, who haven't actually paid! LOL

    The April issue has some gems too

    June has a nice little article on helping others - apparently you do so by providing every support short of help...

    - I await your further theocratic insights with bated breath...

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