I rewrote this for all of us Witness children who wanted Santa to come visit us, yet had to accept that is was all just some evil Pagan mess. Yeah right!!! Like we didn't want Christmas.
"TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS"
In a Witness home as seen by a Witness when Santa appeared
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Witness house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
No stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
No hope that ST. NICHOLAS soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Armageddon danced in their heads;
And mamma in her Watchtower, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my prayer to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a demonized sleigh, and eight evil reindeer,
With the old devil driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Lucifer, how sick.
More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away you evil all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild evil hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the demons they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and that Lucifer too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each evil hoof.
As I drew up my Bible, and was turning around,
Down from my spine came the chill of Demons abound.
Satan was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of demons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how scary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his demon chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a devil pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the evil smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round evil belly,
That shook, with his evil scream like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right strange old demon,
And I screamed when I saw him, praying for heathens;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I soon would be dead;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
looking for stockings; then turned and said "you jerk",
And raising his finger, the middle one at me,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, not wanting to stay,
"It another Witness house, quick get away"
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"CURSE TO YOU MAN, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN TONIGHT"