As they get old they look back on how when they were kids they thought they wouldn't even be out of school before the end came, I know I did. But some people have been believing the lie for 20, 30, 40, 50+ years. These people have desperate need for their beliefs to come true, or else they would have wasted their entire life for nothing. No matter what you believe, we hall have the thought, "what if this life is all there is?" They must think that way too from time to time.
I did that too. And I think that's part of the reason why I'm now on the outside. You can only keep putting off the inevitable for so long before you start to think "What does my life have to show for it?" At the age of 30, other than my kids and my marriage, there wasn't a whole lot that was going for me. From the age of 7, I kept hearing how I'd never:
- finish grade school (graduated in 1976)
- finish high school (graduated in 1980)
- get married (1984)
- have children (1986, 1992, 1993)
- see my parents grow old (my mom & dad are both in their 60s now, with minimal in retirement savings)
Looking at those events as they unfolded, I knew I didn't want to become like some of the older dubs around me - the ones who had pioneered forever, put careers on hold, put their money in the contribution box instead of into retirement savings, paying rent for decades instead of investing in a house (and putting the money they should have been putting aside for a downpayment into the contribution boxes) - not only were they suffering materially, but they were drained emotionally and spiritually. It was as though they had invested their whole lives into the WTS only to find out that they were throwing good money after bad. That the WTS Bank of the New Order wasn't honouring the checks its investors were hoping to be able to cash in.
It was (and sometimes still IS) a painful realization, that I spent 25 years of my life making the likes of Ted Jaracz, Fred Franz and Dan Sydlik comfortable, and that my parents have been doing the same for what's coming up to be almost 35 years now. But when you've got SO MUCH invested already into a company/product that's floundering, to pull out when that BIG PAYOFF seems to be SO CLOSE has got to be one of the scariest damn things to do. No wonder people have such a hard time walking away when the facts are screaming out to them.