Environmental Absurdity

Subject: Environmental Absurdity This one is really funny. It was an actual letter sent to a man
named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality,
State of Michigan. Wait till you read this guy's response-but
read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget St.
Pierson, MI 49339

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet
stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits
have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this
activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at down-
stream ocations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous
and
cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a
free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from
the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31, 2002.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a

follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply
with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division

This is the actual response sent back:

Dear Mr. Price,

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet
stream of my Spring Pond.

While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
natures building materials "debris."

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam
project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state
there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
activity.

My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate
against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout
this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating
against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act,
I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam
permits
that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam
violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource
and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,
being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws,
annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers entitled
to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
and are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will have to
provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either
one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding
is
proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required
to protect.

In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream
"restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers - but
if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention
to
your dam letter they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy
Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
1/31/2002? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and
there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!
Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step!
(The bears are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.

Environmental Absurdity

DannyBear

Angharad

JeffT

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