Father's Touch -- Dungbeetle's Review

by morrisamb 1 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • morrisamb

    Father's Touch by Donald D'Haene

    Reviewed by Dungbeetle, Oct 1, 2002

    The dedication reads in part:

    For...fellow survivors
    and silent victims past and present
    Unable to find their way out of the darkness.

    These words are ever so true. Donald D'Haene takes us into the mind of
    an abuser, the family from which he came, and the family that he created.
    The family which he reminded, upon occasion, when things did not go his
    way, that he could also take that life away.

    Like so many others whose reviews of this book I have read, I, too, could
    not read the book all the way through at one sitting. It took me a few
    days and a number of attempts.. And I am not the same person I was
    before I read this book, nobody could be. The pain, the frustration, the
    sense of loss; the anger, the rage, and trust betrayed---all of it is
    there, brought alive by the power of words. I felt I was there, standing
    beside Donald when his father killed his beloved animals; I felt I was
    right there as the children struggled among themselves to offer
    themselves up as living sacrifices to their father's rage to protect
    their mother and youngest brother.

    And Donald takes us to a world where persons practice medicine without a
    license, and those with a license to practice medicine do NOT PRACTICE
    it. There are reasons these things happen, and there are reasons why they
    should NOT-and Donald takes us there and shows us why, in painful and
    unforgettable detail.

    Was there ever a time when things MIGHT have turned out differently? Was
    there a window of opportunity when JUST ONE act of kindness, at the right
    moment, might have made a difference in the lives of these children?
    Donald answers that question for us. Were there ANY signs, observable to
    outsiders that, having been noticed, could have led to earlier
    intervention? Would education and legislation have made a difference to
    this family's history? Donald answers those questions for us.

    This is not a book just to read and then put on the shelf and then go
    merrily on our way. This is a book to read that educates, that grants
    insight, that MOTIVATES the reader to say "No Donalds in my family!! No
    Erics in my classroom!! No Marinas on my block!! Donald gives us, with
    his words, EMPOWERMENT to not just wait untill a Donald, Ronny, Marina,
    or Eric COME to us for help, but DETERMINATION to look around us
    PROACTIVELY for children who are hurting and fragile and endangered.

    Only then will persons determined to hurt children have fewer and fewer
    victims untill molesters finally, hopefully, have gone the way of the

    And in conclusion, if I had to pick one point that this book drove home
    for me, it would be: If these children could survive, then maybe-just
    maybe-so can I.

    Peace to the D'Haene children.

  • abbagail

    Thanks Dungbeetle, that was really good.

    I appreciate the reminder to always be PROactively LOOKING at the children around us. As a matter of fact, with the way things are these days, it wouldn't hurt for everyone - friend/parent/neighbor, etc. -- to ask on a regular basis to all kids we know, HOW are they doing? And really REALLY search their eyes and faces for answers, moreso than what they actually say...


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